Follow by Email

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Me and My Bros' at "Wesleyan Wednesdays" at Titanium Dance Club in the Old Camps Clothing Store in Middletown

This is me and my bros' at the Titanium last Wednesday night.  On the left is the very talented DJ from the Mezzo disco, every Saturday night, Steven Sinatra.  On the right is Kris Grabocka, K&G Nightlife Owner at Titanium, and between Kris and me is Nik Tasiopoulos who is a Wesleyan guy like myself.  Notice on my black Wesleyan hat is inscribed "Wesleyan Reunion '71."  Which makes me fit right in to "Wesleyan Wednesdays" at Titanium, at least with my bros' approval and Informed Consent.

Now as I always make clear, and say, on the dance floor at Titanium, Mezzo, and the Shadow Room, these three young guys are Hot and I'm Not.  Let me say it again, people, these young guys are Hot-Hot-Hot, and I'm Not-Not-Not.  I just dance with the girls (and the guys who show me their moves) on the dance floor and then I tell the girls they KNOW these guys are SO HOT they've gotta go home with 'em as fast as they can before the other girls find out and take 'em away with 'em.

I think it's just peachy-keen that Cool Dudes like these guys are are willin' to let an Old Dude like me dance out there on the disco floor with all those hot young, old, thin, not-so-thin, pretty and close-to-pretty women on the dance floor.  

Life is Good in Sleepy Middletown!  See you soon on the dance floor!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Anonymous said... What I wonder is why you care so much about what people think about how you live your life. If you're having fun and not hurting anyone or yourself, then just live your life (like the rest of us do). Why spend so much time and effort trying to draw attention to yourself? It's not really all about you, Bob.

Anonymous, whoever Anonymous is, asked a Very Important Question in response to my most recent "Bob's blog" posts and email notifications thereof.  Here's what Anonymous asked me, Bob, anonymously:

Anonymous said...

What I wonder is why you care so much about what people think about how you live your life. If you're having fun and not hurting anyone or yourself, then just live your life (like the rest of us do). Why spend so much time and effort trying to draw attention to yourself? It's not really all about you, Bob.

And here is my considered response, which I am providing to you all after a protracted period of self-analysis and reflection, which lasted all of 2 minutes:

Bob Dutcher aka Grandude said...

Great Comment, Anonymous. The answer is simple. The only way to live a life of comedy and clowning, with a goal of entertaining an audience, is by putting oneself in funny and laughable situations, and exhibiting oneself to people in those ways. That goal requires that I try to draw as much attention to myself, my activities, and my thoughts as possible. While you, as is your right, choose to live your life Anonymously, Anonymous, I choose to live mine in whatever limelight I can attract. Therefore, my life really is, All About Bob, All The Time. I just can't get enough attention to satisfy my need for attention. Maybe the fact that I'm the youngest of three children and therefore had to show off and perform to get attention will help you understand where this impulse for attention comes from. Maybe not. Your psyche, Anonymous, is Anonymous to me and mine, Anonymous, is mostly a Mystery to me. Go figure. Aren't Human Beings, Mere Mortals, an Interesting Bunch?
Thanks so much for your comment. It gives me something to think about in the few seconds of each day when I'm not seeking attention from other people.

For all those Readers of "Bob's blog" who wish to scold me for my Antics, my crazy Dancin', or what they imagine to be my Overall Craziness, I don't want to disappoint your rich fantasy lives, so here are some more Crazy Dancin' Photos.

For all those Readers of "Bob's blog" who wish to scold me for my Antics, my crazy Dancin', or what they imagine to be my Overall Craziness, I don't want to disappoint your rich fantasy lives.  Therefore, in accordance with an order of the Middlesex County Superior Court, I hereby post the following "Bob's blog" story about my detour last Friday night from the very packed disco dance floor at Mezzo Grille to the not-so-busy Titanium Club, both in sleepy old Middletown, Connecticut.

Now, I do sincerely hope and pray that any of you who think I need to be forcibly medicated or committed to the custody of the Psychiatric Security Review Board on account of the fact that I'm now a LIVING, BREATHING, and DANCIN' OLD DUDE, take time to make your concerns known to all the other readers of "Bob's blog" by posting Comments after this or any other "Bob's blog" post.  Please feel free to do so Anonymously, as I would not want your reputation to be sullied by being perceived by any unsuspecting reader as an actual Friend of mine.

Without further ado, here are the photos and commentary, copied directly from my Facebook Wall:

Robert Dutcher   Last Friday night, when things lulled a bit in the dancing at the Mezzo disco, I wandered back over to the Titanium Club on Main Street, in sleepy Middletown, CT, mind you, so it's not all that exciting, as, say, NYC or LA would be. Now the head waitress there, Ms. Ashlee F. Cheeks, accidentally bumped into the Old Dancin' Dude while she was carrying a tray of shots around for those who wanted to whet their whistles with liquor. Now I, the Old Dancin' Dude, only drink water when I'm out dancin', so I didn't want a shot. However, it must have been that Ms. Cheeks was slippin' or fallin' down or somethin' untoward, so I just gentlemanly-like made sure she did hit the deck with her cheeks, if ya' know what I mean. The good thing is, as a Retired Former Serious Trial Lawyer, averted another Personal Injury Claim for Loss of Coccyx or Consortium, by assuming the position demonstrated in this photo taken by the professional photographer which Titanium hires to document all potential Personal Injury Liability Claims, in the event any of these should come to litigation for Money Damages and other Get-Rich-Quick Schemes.

Copyright: Joe Crawford. All rights reserved You may tag friends or use this photo, but please do not crop or alter it in any way

 ·  ·  · 54 minutes ago

  • Freedom Miller likes this.

      • 25 minutes ago · 

      • Robert Dutcher The above photo was taken last Friday night, so the Mezzo disco was PACKED but they don't have a professional photographer taking pictures, as the Titanium Club does. But because it was Friday, and everybody was at Mezzo, the above photos show a relatively empty dance floor. If you look below for the photos taken of me at Titanium the preceding night, last Thursday, I think you'll be able to see that the dance floor was packed at Titanium then.
        23 minutes ago · 
    • Freedom Miller How big is this place, Bob?
      about an hour ago · 
    • Robert Dutcher Two floors. Best night is Thursday night. Friday and Saturday it's generally best at Mezzo disco. I like both places, but I'm just reporting my observations about where the crowds seem to go on the various nights of the week.
      29 minutes ago · 
    • Robert Dutcher When you say how big, it's the former Camp's Clothing Store, later Pedal Power before they moved to the former Bacon Brothers Plumbing Store, and then the Firehouse Bar and Restaurant. If you want estimated dimensions of each floor, I can give you that. When it's packed, e.g. on Thursday night, very late, there are several hundred young people--and the Old Dancin' Dude, yours truly, if I'm there--dancin' to the DJ, whose perch is up on the second floor, in a little triangular area overlooking the first floor.
Now this photo was taken after I saved Ms. Cheeks's cheeks or coccyx from bein' injured when she nearly fell in the club proper. See photo, below, for earlier part of the story. The Comment on Titanium's Facebook page by Micki Esposito Charton says she thinks I look a little like Steven Spielberg. Now I think I've got a MUCH prettier wife, and I don't have Steven's MONEY or FAME, and I've got more HAIR on my HEAD, but other than that, some people have said I look like the ET director when I'm wearin' my Wesleyan Class of '71 40th Reunion hat, like I was that night. What do YOU think?

Copyright: Joe Crawford. All rights reserved You may tag friends or use this photo, but please do not crop or alter it in any way

 ·  ·  · 26 minutes ago

Now I stayed around Titanium a bit, before walkin' over to The Shadow Room, where there's a somewhat blacker crowd and an even cooler vibe, and danced a bit near the Titanium stage. These girls are obviously havin' a good time, 'cept as often happens, the guys are too worried 'bout lookin' COOL and not makin' FOOLS of themselves, that they just stand around watchin' the rest of us Dancin' Fools, ...See More

Copyright: Joe Crawford. All rights reserved You may tag friends or use this photo, but please do not crop or alter it in any way

 ·  ·  · 22 minutes ago

Saturday, October 15, 2011

A Picture of the Crazy Old Dancin' Dude at the Titanium Club last Thursday Night and the Facebook Comments by the Young People Who Were There About Their Thoughts About Me Dancin' With 'Em

Here's a picture from the Titanium Club on Thursday night, with Vanessa, a very lovely young woman who is willing to dance with the Crazy Old Dancin' Dude.   Below the picture are all the Comments the young people who saw the picture or were there the other night at the dance club put up about my presence on the dance floor, on the Facebook page of the professional photographer the dance club hires to document the dancers and publicize the club.
 ·  ·  · 14 minutes ago
    • R. Hope & Company [PR/Event Management Grp.] with Vanessa Crespo.
      Unlike · · Share · Yesterday
      You and Vanessa Crespo like this.

      R. Hope & Company [PR/Event Management Grp.]-- lol....
      Yesterday at 12:14pm ·

      Sean Christian-- Bharat best friends! lol....great night!

      Vanessa Crespo-- Granpa Bob ♥

      Sean Christian Bharat-- Is his name really bob? Im going to ask him what's his secret....he bags every girl in that club...lololol....

      Vanessa Crespo-- Lol Thats my Bob! He's got moves like Jagger! He's there for fun, not to bag! Granpa has a wife at home ♥

      Sean Christian Bharat-- Awesome :)

      Kayla Krostoski-- omg its bob!

      Brian Simmons-- He is so cool party bus

      Erick Eli Estevez-- He mad cool and just like to have a good time

      Vanessa Crespo-- I adore BOB ♥

      Rachel Backiel Hernandez--- Lol. Only Vanessa!

      Vanessa Crespo-- Haha Rachel he's the man, maybe one night you'll get to meet him haha

      Robert Dutcher-- Hey, everybody, I love all your comments and I love the fact you let me dance with you. I AM happily married, to the same woman, Susie, whom I met 43 years ago this month. I'm a retired trial lawyer who got sick of making all that money and doing all that stuff I had to do running a law firm, so I retired in March and now I dance 3 or 4 nights a week, do stand-up comedy, and write "Bob's blog." I love the fact that Vanessa is a Goddess who's willing to dance a few minutes with a Crazy Old Dancin' Dude. Here's a link to the story I wrote on my blog about how I met Susie in 1968. That story has a photo of her a year earlier, when she was 18, at her parents' home in Wisconsin.
             I don't know how she puts up with me, but we have three sons, a daughter, and a grandson who's 3.
             I'll also give you a link to the photos on my blog I recently found of Susie from when she was 20.
             Thank you all for being so kind to let me dance with all of you and all your wonderful, young energy. It's great exercise, and Vanessa's absolutely right--I have NO interest in taking any of you wonderful Goddesses home with me. I have a wife and have no interest in having another! But I LOVE all of you, the women who dance with me and the men who show me their great dance moves.
            See ya' on the dance floor! Best, Bob Here are the links: and

      Bob's blog: A Love Story--"What If..." I'd never met Susie, and "What If" by Coldplay--our Love Stor
      2 minutes ago · Like ·

    • Robert Dutcher By the way, one reason I wore that Wesleyan Class of '71 hat the other night, shown in the picture with Vanessa, is that a lot of people tell me I look like Steven Spielberg, the movie director, so that's part of my comic act. Now that I'm no longer a serious trial lawyer, I'm looking for, and finding, all the fun, laughter and humor in life--starting with the funny fact that a man my age LOVES to dance with all those energetic, fun-loving young people. And of course it's GREAT exercise!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

"Sing, muse, the wrath of Achilles" and, Perhaps, the Wrath of Joshua Komisarjevsky--Bad Plans: "Illiad," The Trojan War, and The Cheshire Murder Case--Evil Demons or Damaged Human Beings? The Curious Case of Joshua Komisarjevsky and Cy Twombly's Painting, "Vengeance of Achilles"

"Sing, muse, the wrath of Achilles."  So begins my favorite English translation of "Iliad," Homer's epic poem about a Greek warrior who killed men in battle and then wept over the loss of his fallen enemies.  Among other things, "Iliad" is about the anger (some) men feel, where it comes from, and how they express it. "Iliad" affords us the occasion to think about anger, our own anger, other men's anger, how we express it and how other men express it.  Perhaps thinking about our anger will dissipate it or channel into constructive pursuits, like writing, comedy, or other art forms.

Thinking about Achilles' anger leads me to experience feelings of empathy towards Joshua Komisarjevsky.  While Achilles was a warrior in a declared war, which gave him, by human moral reasoning, the right to kill other human beings in battle, Komisarjevsky was not that.  Achilles was involved in the kind of killing which tends to be glorified in art, while Komisarjevsky was involved in the kind of murder which hopefully gets a man imprisoned for the rest of his life in a jail or a mental institution.  Despite these important differences, there is, I suggest, a family resemblance (see Wittgenstein, Ludwig) between the sources of what motivates men like Achilles to kill in wartime, and what motivates men like Komisarjevsky to burglarize and kill in peacetime.  Feel free to disagree with me on these points.

For those of you who don't know who that is, Komisarjevsky is now on trial in New Haven Superior Court for the murder of Dr. William Petit's three girls, his wife and two daughters, on July 23, 2007.  These women died in a fire which Joshua Komisarjevsky claims his older accomplice, Steven Hayes, decided on his own to set, to kill the women, all because Hayes heard Komisarjevsky call him "Steve" and Hayes then decided the witnesses to the crime, the three women, had to die.

Joshua claims he had nothing to do with the fire which killed the women.  But he does admit he was filled with anger, and hate, for at least 26 of his 32 years.  I believe Komisarjevsky's anger, his wrath, is rooted in his childhood history of being sexually and physically abused, just as Achilles' anger, his wrath, was rooted in his childhood history.

Achilles did not have a "normal" childhood. Achilles never suckled at his mother's breast and instead was fed the innards of lions, wild swine, and bear marrow.  A baby who could stomach this food is certainly not someone to anger when he grows up.

Joshua Komisarjevsky did not have a "normal" childhood. According to The Hartford Courant report,

When he was 14, Joshua Komisarjevsky carved the word "hate" into his arm.

He began the self-mutilation the year before because it was "soothing," according to a report that his defense attorneys made public Thursday at the close of his triple-murder trial.

"I hated everything about my life. I had been abused and I wanted others to know what it was like to hurt, to lose something. I had so much pain inside and cutting was a way to get at it," Komisarjevsky told New York psychologist Dr. Leo Shea, who wrote the report. Shea based his findings, titled "Joshua Komisarjevsky Cognitive Evaluation" on 12 hours of interviews and testing of Komisarjevsky.

Shea was the final witness to testify in the trial of Komisarjevsky, 31, who faces the death penalty if convicted of the killings of Jennifer Hawke-Petit and her daughters Hayley, 17, and Michaela, 11, during a home invasion at their Cheshire house on July 23, 2007.

Shea's report says that Komisarjevsky told him that a 15-year-old boy named Scott, whom the family took in as a foster child, sexually and physically abused him from about the age of 3 until 6.

"My earliest memories were of anal sex, oral sex, cigarette burns, etc.," Komisarjevsky told Shea, according to the report.

[All quotations from Hartford Courant article appear in red print.],0,547171.story

IF Joshua was abused, tortured really, in these ways as a young child, how deep a reservoir of angry emotion would all that anal sex, oral sex, and ciagrette burns fill in any little boy? [And it's up to the jury to decide if these crimes were perpetrated on Joshua Komisarjevsky by the kid Joshua's adoptive parents took into their home as a foster child, and, if so, its moral and legal significance.]  Had these atrocities happened to you, how angry would you have been (or will you be) at age 29, the age at which Joshua Komisarjevsky entered the Petit castle in dead of night, while it's wonderful occupants were soundly sleeping, peaceably?

What happens these days when it's discovered that a child has been sexually and physically abused by an older person?  Many years of psycho-therapy by a highly-trained analyst or psycho-therapist are the usual course of treatment, usually accompanied by years of psychotropic medications to relieve the depression and suicidal ideation which often follows as a sequelae of such childhood torture.

And what treatment did Joshua Komisarjevsky's adoptive parents get for him?  I'm sure they meant well, but......   According to the same Hartford Courant article,

Komisarjevsky told Shea [the defense psychologist] that his parents tried to get him help through their church and "got the elders to put their hands on me, to cast out sin, to heal me. I was so scared and felt smothered, I felt desperate to get out of that circle of people."

Shea said that Komisarjevsky was taught Bible studies at home "to exorcise the demons within. He was seen by pastors and church counselors to help him deal with his perceived sinful nature," Shea wrote.

The sexual and physical abuse which Joshua was subjected to as a child was turned by religious legerdemain  into Joshua's self-perception that he was possessed by demons which had to be exorcised, to help him deal with "his perceived sinful nature."  In another psychological tour de force, sexual and physical abuse perpetrated on a young boy was transformed by the adult world into an act of sin by the boy, Joshua, rather than a crime to be prosecuted, punished, and atoned for by the criminal who perpetrated these outrages on that little boy.

At about age 9, Shea [the defense psychologist] said that Komisarjevsky would leave his home late at night and wander in the woods near his house "monitoring houses and the activities therein for curiosity," Shea wrote. 

Komisarjevsky had a long criminal record for breaking into homes at night, eventually using night-goggles, and burglarizing the houses.  Until the Chesire invasion, there is no record of his harming anyone in the houses.  Who knows what thought train led the little nine-year-old boy to begin to surreptitiously observe how other people lived their lives?  Perhaps he was so troubled by his own family life, and all the traumatic things which happened to him while he lived with his adoptive parents, that he felt a deep need to watch, from outside the windows, how "the other half" lives.  Whatever the connection, no matter the reason, this move, from seeking help, talking about the trauma, to peeping into and then breaking into homes, was a most unfortunate development in the life of Joshua Komisarjevsky.

I see connections between Achilles and Komisarjevsky.  Both men had troubled childhoods.  They each had their own reasons for feeling anger about their early lives.  It is true that not every man who has a troubled childhood turns to violence.  But it IS a predisposing factor.  Read about Komisarjevsky's psychologist, Dr. Shea, in the following report about the rest of his testimony about how early life traumas affected Joshua Komisarjevsky.

Komisarjevsky was a troubled student and eventually left the classroom after fifth grade to be schooled at home by his mother.

In 2000, Komisarjevsky said he began experimenting with marijuana and alcohol "but then started heavy drugs," Shea [the defense psychologist] wrote, including crystal methamphetamine, LSD, cocaine, crank and prescription drugs.

Shea agreed with New Haven State's Attorney Michael Dearington that such a "perfect storm" does not necessarily lead to criminal behavior. When Dearington asked how widespread childhood sexual abuse is, Shea said that one of three females and one of six males is sexually abused.

"It doesn't necessarily lead to criminal behavior. I would agree with that. It predisposes him to it," Shea testified Thursday.

The connection between Achilles and Komisarjevsky, their common wrath, became visually clear to me last Friday at the Philadelphia Museum of Art.  I was in Philly for a wedding. My oldest friend, Ron Mazzuca, with whom I was staying, suggested we go to the art museum.  The collection of Rembrandt's "Faces of Jesus" was remarkable, but when I got to Gallery 185, Modern and Contemporary Art, first floor, I knew I'd hit pay dirt about the sources of my own anger and, perhaps, the wrath of Achilles and Komisarjevsky.

Gallery 185 holds Cy Twombly's (American, 1928-2011) masterpiece, "Fifty Days at Illiam: Vengeance of Achilles."  Twombly created 10 panels depicting the the last 50 days of the Trojan war, the subject of Homer's "Illiad."  As a catalogue of the paintings explains, "Twombly designed the installation so that the four paintings on one side of the room present a predominantly Greek mood, passionate and explosive, while the four across from them embody the Trojan character, contemplative and cool."  Twentieth Century Painting and Sculpture in the Philadelphia Museum of Art (2000), p. 133.

The second panel, "Vengeance of Achilles" is a tangle of light black threads in a swirl at the bottom.  As the eye moves upward, the black lines darken and then smear on the white paper. As the mass of lines curves to the right, the black lines begin to merge into a thick blood-like mass, which finally begins a downward curve, which ends almost in a point.  Above the curve of black and red is scrawled the word "VENGEANCE," which appears as if scribbled by a child, or by a man exhausted by life and ready to die, or kill.  The overall effect is one of a chimney of smoke curving up and over, where it becomes a focused tongue of  hot fire.  The image also looks like the profile of an eagle stalking its prey, ready to strike, kill, and devour, on a moment's notice.

To see this for yourself, here is a photograph of this image. (The quality of the copy is poor, so please look at a better copy by clicking on the link at the end of this paragraph.)   Feel free to find your own meaning in its mysterious depth.  Here's a web link to a much clearer photo of the painting: 


Sing, muse, the wrath of Achilles and, perhaps, of Joshua Komisarjevsky.  Or perhaps, the wrath of each and every one of us.