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Tuesday, February 21, 2012

A New Poem by Bob: "Shadow Room Goddesses", with 2 Photos of Bob and TSR Goddesses, and an Editor's Note about the poem and the blog post itself

Editor's Note: Bob does not put everything he writes on "Bobs blog."  Bob has noticed over the past few months, since he first started writing the blog in mid-July, 2011, at the suggestion of his friend John Hall, that some (at least one but it could be any number up to the more than 18,000 hits he's gotten on "Bobs blog" all over the World based on the very precise statistics kept by the Google Blogspot "platform") of his Dear Readers do not like to get the more, shall we say, conventionally "salacious" blog posts.  Therefore, Bob censors "Bobs blog" and writes more freely on his Facebook page.

However, true artists don't censor themselves.  Bob's not yet a "true" artist, although he's getting there, so he continues to restrict "Bobs blog" to more "prim and proper" writing productions.

To give you all a little change of pace, I'm going to post a poem I whipped off yesterday afternoon at the request of my SAG actor friend, David Gere, owner of The Shadow Room (TSR) on Main Street in Middletown.  TSR is a bar, dance club, art gallery, and artists' hangout, including wannabe writers/dancers/comix like Bob.  So Bob returned to his lair, Susie's OLD HOUSE in Middletown, and whipped up the following little poem about some of the TSR Goddesses, as David Gere requested.  I then peformed it last night at TSR while standing on the couches along the north wall, all the while wearing the same outfit I was wearing the night before, as described below.

To understand the poem, you'll need to do two things, assuming you want to read any further.  First, read the poem.  Second, look at the Facebook Profile Pics of me surrounded by assorted TSR Goddesses.  Third, read the FB Status I posted yesterday about the Sunday night adventure at TSR, in particular the references and descriptions of Goddesses Andrea and Emily.  Fourth, understand that Goddess Andrea in no way is androgynous.  She's very pretty, feminine, and intelligent.  But she did like wearing my dark shades and my dark-blue worsted wool blazer for a few sweet minutes.  Like all beautiful women who put on male clothing (think Marlene Dietrich and other great actresses of the past), it's a very nice look.  Fifth, Goddess Toni is David Gere's current girlfriend.  David refers to her, affectionately, as Toni the Tiger.  I changed that appellations slightly.  You'll see why.  Finally, also understand that Goddess Emily merely slipped while she and Goddess Andrea were dancing with me, all in the presence of their boyfriends.  Goddess Emily was not drunk, but she did fall backwards and land on her tush, but with a smile on her face and a laugh from her throat.

Okay, so here's the poem, "Shadow Room Goddesses," followed by the FB Status which sets the stage, and last, but not least, the photos of the TSR Goddesses and me.  The first photo is my current FB Profile Pic and the second is my penultimate FB Profile Pic.

Finally, if I did not treat these Goddesses with the respect that a father shows his daughter, they would not feel, and appear in the photos, as relaxed and comfortable in my presence, so close to me physically, as is shown in these photos.

Very truly yours,  THE EDITORS of Bobs blog.  P.S.: You always have the option of opting out of the rest of this blog post by don't say I didn't warn you!]

Now the poem.

Shadow Room Goddesses

I knew Goddess Maddie's
surname was Gish
but now
I know
she's also
the freakin' sexiest dish

I knew Goddess Andrea
was a Czenar
but now
I know
she's also
Insatiable Sexy Satyr

I knew Goddess Emily
was a Gorgeus Platinum Blonde
but now
I know
she also
safely lands her Beautiful Behind

I knew Goddess Toni
had a figure to die for
but now
I know
she also
is Toni The Ti-Gere

bob dutcher, February 20, 2012

Now the Facebook Status.

Last night I made a last-minute (or last hour-and-a-half to be precise) appearance at The Shadow Room in Middletown. I was delighted to meet a new Goddess, Goddess Tiffany, who tends bar to give a break from Mortal Dionysian Alcohol-Nectar service by Goddess Andrea and Goddess Toni (the Tigress). Although Nick, David Gere's partner in TSR, told me otherwise, my first impression of the lovely Tiffany Goddess was this: "That girl's Jail Bait." But Nick firmly disabused me of that notion. Although all Goddesses are timeless, eternal, and ageless, we Mere Mortal Men arbitrarily assign an "age" to each of them. And Nick insisted that her Mere-Mortal-Man-assigned age is greater, though not by much, than Goddess Andrea.

Now I made my Grand Entrance into TSR last night wearing the double-breasted blue suit jacket, dark gray pants, and black shoes I wore to my baptist rockin' church service yesterday, and also had my eyes shaded from the Overwhelmingly Brilliant Radiance of Goddesses Andrea, Emily, Tiffany, Sarah, and the others by my black wrap-around shades. Within minutes, Goddess Andrea, always accompanied by her trusty Hot Young Mere Mortal boyfriend, Mike, had removed my shades and put them on and removed my double-breasted suit coat, perhaps to cover her own double-breasted outer/upper white garment. Goddess Andrea and Goddess Emily, who was also chaperoned by her Studly Mere Mortal Young boyfriend, proceeded, against my better judgment, to arrange the three of us in an unholy (but most fun)
three-way Oreo Cookie in negative photographic mode. By that I mean that these two lovely blonde, fair-skinned Goddesses had me, a now-black baptist, in-between them. I have no current recollection of what the Goddesses were doing, if anything, to me during this ecstatic moment.

Meanwhile, Nick, @David Gere's co-owner of TSR, got out what appeared to be an I-pad shaped video recording device to make permanent video record of this Outrageous Outlaw Ovation to the gods who made the visitation by the Goddesses (not to mention their Otherworldly Beauty, Uncommon Intelligence, and Aesthetic Sensibility) possible.

Well, time to go off FB for a while, saw wood, and work on a new poem to perform tonight at The Shadow Room, should the Mere Mortal Men, the Goddesses, and, especially the demi-god @David Gere, permit me so to do.

Later, Goddesses, Mere Mortal Men, and The Demi-God,

Bob aka The Writer

Now the photos.

Goddess Andrea, Bob, and Goddess Emily

Goddess Maddie, Andrea, Bob, Gia, and Emily


  1. why dont you wear a wedding ring?

  2. Dear Goddess Anonymous,

    You have asked an excellent question. Let me try to give you an honest answer.

    [Editor's Note: This answer will take three or four Comment windows to complete. Bob regrets he could not be briefer.]

    I met Susie 44 years ago. We got married 41years ago, when I was a senior at Wesleyan. I was not even 21. Susie was 22. I had to get my mother's permission to get married, under then-Connecticut statutory law. (Otherwise, I supposed, Susie might have been guilty of a kind of statutory rape. But Momma came through with the Affidavit of Permission of Her Minor Son to Marry.)

    By the time of our marriage, the chemical high of our relationship was beginning to fade. I was immature. I'd never lived on my own, never learned to take care of myself. I always tell people, I went from Mommy, to Momma Wesleyan, to Momma Susie. Susie was, and is, THE most beautiful woman, Goddess really, I've ever had the privilege of laying eyes on, and lying with. No lie. But I had not, by the time I met Susie, de-cathected (i.e. disconnected) from my biological mother, Helen Heydrick Dutcher. I did not really know myself. I was not mature enough to get married. I think Susie was ready for marriage in that way and ready to take care of another person. Until we had our children, I WAS Susie's child, and she took excellent care of me. Unfortunately, that stunted my emotional growth. Oh, I was a man alright, in a biological sense. I suspect Susie will confirm THAT fact. But I was not a man in the emotional sense.

    When we were married at the Wesleyan Chapel, in December of 1970, right before Christmas, I was still feeling unsure about my readiness for marriage. My mother certainly thought I was ready to get married. In fact, once my mother found out Susie and I were living together, Mom continually harped on the fact that we were "married in the eyes of God." You have to remember those days, back in the late 60's, when we had parents who grew up during The Great Depression, in the 1930's. Mom had no appreciation of the great cultural revolution which had started during that Summer of Love in Berkeley, California, or of the Sexual Revolution which continued through the 1970's, at least until AIDS became a reality infecting every aspect of the sexual relationship between men and women. When so many of my Wesleyan classmates were celebrating their sexual freedom, Susie and I were committing our bodies only to each other, for the rest of our lives. And remember, when we were 20, we couldn't imagine trusting anybody over the ripe old age of 30. When the Beatles sang that wonderful song, "When I'm 64," I was sure I'd NEVER be THAT old. Now I'm 62 and don't know what all the fuss was about.

    [Continued in next Comment window.]

    1. [Part II of the answer to the question of Goddess Anonymous.]

      At our wedding Memorial Chapel at Wesleyan, Susie and I exchanged wedding vows, and rings. I still have that ring in my top dresser drawer. I haven't worn the ring, however, for about the past 39 years. And now, almost four decades later, you, Goddess, ask the excellent question: "Why, Bob? Why DON'T you wear your wedding ring?" Being a philosopher at heart, not the sophist I was for 36 years as a practicing lawyer, I would answer your question with a question: "Why do you want to know?" But, since I don't know you, or at least, don't know if I know you, I shall refrain from asking that question, which does, by the way, interest me enormously. But, back to YOUR question, Goddess. As I tell all the hot and studly young Mere Mortal Men on the dance floors I frequent, "Don't touch the Goddesses. They own us. We don't own them. Please, Prince Charmin', DON'T squeeze their Charmin. If they want to squeeze YOUR Charmin, that's charmin', but don't ever think you own the Goddesses. They own us." And in the same way, whenever a Goddess, such as yourself, asks me a question, I answer it, truthfully, and don't first respond with a question of my own. That, dear Goddess, would be like my squeezing YOUR Charmin. And that's a No-No in my Gentlemanly Rules of How to Treat the Goddesses.

      So after I fell out of love CHEMICALLY with my High Goddess, Susie, probably 2 or 3 years after we met, I realized that I was not cut out for conventional married life. I'll spare you the details, except to say that I've only been with three women in my entire life, in the sense of "being with" which I know, as a Goddess, you'll understand precisely my meaning. One was my High Goddess, The Most Beautiful, Nicest, Kindest, Most Loving Goddess I've ever laid eyes on, or lain with, Susan Ellen Price (now Dutcher), and two other women. Out of respect for the other two women, and my High Goddess, Susie, I've decided to spare you and the rest of my Dear Readers, the beautiful, but mainly sordid, details of those two other "relationships," if it's appropriate to call a secret relationship, at the time it was carried on, a relationship.

      God, or the gods, or, most probably, THE HIGHEST GODDESSES IN THE HEAVENS, blessed Susie and me with four amazing children, three boys and then a girl. I don't know what I, for one, have EVER done to deserve being the male "mid-wife" for the entry of these MIRACULOUS beings into this wonderful world.

      Even then, however, I was not emotionally-equipped for married life. I tried to escape whenever possible from my duties as a husband and father. Oh, I did all the things fathers do with their children. Took them on walks with each of the children, when they were very young, in a Geri Carrier. Went on bike rides with them on the old Schwinn bicycle with a yellow plastic child's seat on the rear. Went swimming with them at the YMCA. Went to all their school performances as they went through the public school. Took them all on nice vacations. Had wonderful family holidays with them. Tried to be a well-behaved son-in-law so my wonderful in-laws, Glen (now dead) and Maribeth Price in Milwaukee could have a loving relationship with each of them. Fostered also an excellent relationship between my parents, Russell and Helen Dutcher, in Philly, and the children. But never did I feel totally comfortable with the idea of being married.

    2. [Part III of the answer to the question of Goddess Anonymous.]

      I went to law school at Georgetown University Law Center in D.C. I made the law review. I spend a LOT of time away from Susie, allegedly at the law center editing law review articles for form, and studying in the library at night. Sometimes I was actually at the law center, but other times I was not. It would be TMI to give more details. Oh, I wouldn't mind, but Susie would, so, out of respect for my High Goddess, I won't give you TMI.

      I practiced law with a very large national law firm in Philly but Susie hated it. We were not happy in the Big City. So we decided we'd make our fortune in New England. I found the job with my old law firm, Dzialo, Pickett and Allen, in Middletown. I devoted almost all my time and energy to the practice for almost 36 years, until, that is, the Summer of 2010, when I began to descend into a major depression, which took a near-suicidal turn for the very worst, from September, 2010 through December, 2010. Then the Recovery began, I thought I needed to leave my marriage, but then I realized I needed to leave my job, which had become an intolerable burden. So I left the firm on March 31, 2011.

      I began dancing with Goddesses, and Mere Mortal Men, in mid-July, 2011. I've never looked back. I also do stand-up comedy, sometimes in a club or casino, but frequently just by trying to be funny to Goddesses and Mere Mortal Men wherever I find myself at the moment. I started writing "Bobs blog" back in mid-July, 2011. I haven't checked the statistics kept by the Google Blogspot blog system today, but as of yesterday I'd had over 19,000 hits on stories on "Bobs blog." Statistics are also kept on what stories people click open most often and you may not be surprised to know that what people find most fascinating is the idea and reality and details and photographs of a 62-year-old Mere Mortal Old Dancin' Dude dancing with young immortal Goddesses. But that's what the statistics show. Statistics may lie, but what I'm telling you the statistics show is the Goddess's Honest Truth.

      Susie and I put our Chimney Hill house on the market last May. It was late in the selling season, so we hope to have better luck selling it this spring. She moved into the new house at Bartlett Hollow in November, 2011. I remain back at Chimney Hill with Russell, the Cool Black Cat of my third son, Jamie. By now, I think Russell prefers living with me and considers that I am his owner, and Human Cat-Servant.

      I enjoy living alone, shopping for myself, cooking and cleaning for myself, taking care of myself. I love being free to come and go as I please. I doubt I'd ever be able to live with Susie again, or anyone else, for that matter. I'm just too selfish to compromise with a living partner. Susie is just the opposite. She loves compromise. She's a mostly unselfish Goddess. She loves to take care of other people, whether babies, little kids, big kids, or a big kid Husband like me.

      With that long introduction, let me answer your question: "Why, Bob, do you now wear a wedding ring?" The answer is simple: I am not really the marrying kind. I don't feel married, in the sense of wanting to be a domesticated human male animal. I am wild at heart. Undomesticatable. A royal pain in the ass. Hard to live with. Ornery. Full of piss and vinegar. Able to cry whenever I feel the emotions welling up from my heart into the tear ducts. A very emotional man and not afraid to show it. A tough guy who doesn't back down from any physical challenge. A man who loves confrontation, be it with the police, men in dance clubs who wrongly fantasy I'm hitting on their Goddesses, men who don't like my "I Love Boobies" tee-shirt, or men or women who don't like me talking loudly in a Radio Shack, a Dunkin' Donuts, or a white church.

    3. [Part IV, and the last part, of my answer to the question of Goddess Anonymous.]

      I'm a Man now, not a Boy. I see no reason to give the pretense that I'm a happily married man, by wearing a wedding ring, when I've NEVER been happy in the role of Married Man.

      Now that I'm a creative Artist, rather than a money-making Lawyer, I have The Feminine fully-incorporated in my soul, right there alongside The Male. Women are the creative forces in the world. Men the destructive. Yin and Yang. By Women and Men I'm not referring to Gender, but Spirit. I no longer NEED a Goddess, a woman of the female gender, to complete my formerly incomplete Spirit. I love women and always will love to dance with them, talk with them show off for them, and listen to them. But I do not want to LIVE with anyone, neither Goddess nor Mere Mortal Man.

      I have no plans, nor interest, in getting Divorced from Susie, my High Goddess. I know she presently has no such plans either. Persons who are legally married to each other do not need to get divorced in order to be legally allowed to live apart from each other. That's a legal opinion I offer without charge, knowing that some will say such an opinion, not paid for, is worth what was paid for it. So be it.

      In short, I need to be Free to be Me. I shall NEVER stop loving Susie, but I cannot love her in a conventional, compromising married way. We shall always be parents to our four children, and grandparents to our grandson Liam and any other grandchildren with whom God, or the gods, or, more likely, the Goddesses bless us with. Susie and I have shared Peak Experiences with each other. I shall always feel she's my best friend. Perhaps some day I'll settle down and be able to live with her. That remains to be seen.

      I hope that gives you some small inkling of why I do not wear a wedding ring. If you want to know more, please ask, and your wish shall be my command. As long, that is, as giving further details will not, in my judgment, materially and substantially harm Susie or my children or grandson, Liam.

      All best and namaste,

      Bob aka The Writer---Wily, Willful, Wiry, and Honest

  3. sad......"I'm just too selfish to compromise".

    1. I rather enjoyed your long tail.....tale of why you do not wear a wedding ring. My question is Does The High Goddess - Susie wear a wedding ring?

    2. Dear Anonymous (Feb. 26 at 10:26 a.m.),
      I have compassion for the sadness you feel. I, however, feel no sadness about my disinterest in the compromises necessary to live with another person. I want to spend my energy on writing and having interesting experiences. It's not fair to my wife, Susie, to pretend I want to live a domesticated partnership when I don't. Would it not be sad if I tried to convince myself, or Susie, or you, or anybody else, of the contrary?
      I have no objection to your wanting other people to share your values but I don't share them, at least on this point. We might have a lot else in common. Contact me and we may find out, or not.
      Thanks for reading "Bobs blog" being un-selfish enough to take time from your other interests to post your Comment.
      All best,


    3. Dear Anonymous (Feb. 26 at 1:10 p.m.),
      I liked your pun on tail/tale. You may have been suggesting, subtly, to those readers who pay close attention to words, that I have a devlish perspective on marriage, male-female relationships, and the like. And you might be right if that's the story you told yourself. Or not.
      I'm glad you enjoyed the tale, even though it was, by necessity, long.
      As for The High Goddess, I think she sometimes does, sometimes does not, wear her wedding ring. Whether she does or not is her choice. I would not try to control her in that or any other life-choice she makes. I LOVE Susie, so I don't wish to CONTROL her. That doesn't mean it would be easy if she took up with another man, for the first time in our 44 years together. But hey, given my sexual history, how could I complain what she does?
      I like the attitude I spy between the lines you write. I think we might enjoy having a beer together and just talking about....anything.
      Thank you VERY MUCH for reading my whole tale, and commenting about my tail, AND posting your inventive Comment.
      All best,

      Bob aka The Tailed Not-Tall Tale Teller

  4. Now that you've asked me a question, I'll answer it. I was asking because I have known other married men who do not wear their wedding ring. I have never asked them, so it was easy to ask you. I would just be offended if the man I was married to, did not show it. It is the most physical symbol to show you are attached. I just assume they are being sneaky and not committed. I even feel offended that prince William, a role model for alot of not wear his. I now understand your relationship with Susie, as not being there chemically, but as if you're there for your children and each other, if need be.

    1. ~ original questioning Goddess..

    2. Dear Original Questioning Goddess,
      I'm so glad you've written back and explained your thinking, which it completely understandable. Something for you to think about it, though, is this. Merely wearing a ring, a physical symbol of eternal love and fidelity, does not establish whether the wear-er really IS in love with his wife or faithful to her. A symbol is kind of like a statement, which can be true, false, or somewhat of both. How many adulteress affairs are carried on by men and women who are married and wear their wedding rings as they make illicit love or lust? I suspect it's in the billions, depending on the time frame used to make the survey.
      What I think demonstrates the nature of a married relationship more than jewels and jewelry is BEHAVIOR. Do the couple SHOW their love for each other by the way the talk to each other, how they treat each other in public, and when nobody's watching?
      As for Susie and me, we ARE still chemically in love with each other, but not as much as those early years, in the blush of new wine. It's harder for her, as a woman, to justify having our life-long best friendship sealed with romantic love when I am not living the life of a conventional, domesticated house-husband. As a man, it's easier for me to separate sex and love. I'm not revealing ANYTHING specific about the nature of our sexual relationship, except for the fact that our chemistry has not yet morphed into total monotony and indifference.
      Despite my gruff exterior, I am, at heart, a romantic. When my first girlfriend dumped me the day before I left for college, I was devastated. And she and I had hardly ever gotten off "First Base." Remember, it was 1967 and at that time, to get beyond "First Base" with a girl, you virtually had to marry her. At least, the girls I was so picky about to be interested in.

      [To be continued in the next Comment window.]

    3. [Comment continued here from previous Comment window.]

      Because I got married so young, and had no sexual experience other than with Susie, I made the decision, if decision it can be called when made with the other head men have, with respect to which we only have enough blood to run one at a time, to have two affairs with two women not named Susie. My family found out eventually about one of them, and Susie about both of them, and we stayed together. One thing which makes marriage difficult, and interesting, is monogamy, infidelity, and surviving both.
      In the 13 months between being dumped by my first girlfriend the day before leaving for Wesleyan University in September of 1967 and first laying eyes on, and instantly falling in love with, Susie on October 26, 1968, I had many dates with very attractive young women I'd met at mixers (yes, that's how old I am; I actually went to mixers at Smith, Wellesley, Conn College, Wheaton, Sarah Lawrence, Vassar, and other women's colleges), and found myself making out with all of them on the bed in my freshman dorm suite in Nickelson 5 on Foss Hill at Wesleyan. But I was still in love with the girl who first broke my heart. And, being the romantic that I am, I could not get "into it" with these girls I was not in love with. And that remained the case until I turned the corner from the hallway of my four-man Sophomore year suite at Lawn Avenue and entered the living room, where THE most beautiful blue-eyed blonde girl with dazzingly-sweet smile at lady-like, but oh so sexy, in a green jumper and black boots sat on the couch, having no idea who I was or what her mere existence had done to shake my being to its very core. I fell totally and instantly in love with High Goddess Susan Ellen Price at that very moment in recorded human history.
      For now, and perhaps forever, I cannot live with anyone. Well, anyone human. I have no problem living with my son Jamie's Cool Black Cat, Russell, about whom I've waxed grandeloquently in these "Bobs blog" pages. Given Russell's blackness, I'm wondering if that black cat proves the truth of something I've heard recently, at my black baptist church and from other people, of varying skin colors: "Once you go black, you can't go BACK."?!
      I am so happy you asked your wonderful question, as it served as a Word-Muse to inspire me to write more about what I consider the Sacred History/Herstory of my High Goddess, Susie, and me, the black sheep, Mere Mortal Old Dancin' Dude-Man. Thank you, OOG, and I promise, should our paths someday cross, not to Ooggle you, Original Questioning Goddess, although I suspect you are more than worth the oogling.

      All best,


  5. Wow that was way too much information that I found myself unable to turn away from.
    While I beg you not to reply to this I do wonder how Suzie feels about have her dirty laundry aired all over the web. Again, no response Please. I'd rather have my speculations remain unconfirmed.

  6. Dear Original Questioning Goddess, or not, whatever the case may be, or not (March 9, 2012 5:25 p.m.),
    If it was TMI, then why did you ask the question in the first place? I've told you, I'm honest, truthful. Otherwise why would any of my readers, including you, find themselves "unable to turn away from" reading my work? That's the Raison d'Etre of writers, and reading-worthy writing.
    Beg away, but I CHOOSE to reply. So WTF yo' gonna' do 'bout dat', BITCH?! Ever heard the one about the masochist who said, "Hit me, hit me!" and the sadist said, "No, no."???
    My Goddess has a name, but it ain't SuZie. Read a bit more carefully next time you tune in to "Bobs blog." Oh, and I KNOW you will. You can't help yourself. 'cuz yo' ain't evah' read nobody as honest as yo' Big Sugah' Daddy, bob-beeeee. Right, hon-eeeeee?
    One last point. The only dirt in the laundry is the dirty dirty dirty shit in YOUR DIRTY MIND, hear? Ain't no WhiteWash in my laundry. Only The Truth and Nothing But The Truth, so help the Goddesses.
    All best,

    The Non-Speculatin' Truth-Tellin' Writer

  7. Actually that Anonymous was not the original Goddess but another Goddess who is glad that you didn't really answer the speculative question and who is LOL at your response! This Goddess is also really unclear who your Goddess is if it ISN'T SuZie. Again no need to reply but I'm sure you will.
    ~other anon goddess who is enjoying speaking of herself in te 3rd person

    1. Dear Real Goddess Anonymous,

      First, I hope you'll accept my apology for speaking so harshly to you in my Reply to your excellent question. I THOUGHT you might be a different person from the idiot who keeps writing Comments to my blog piece the other day about why I and other writers are sometimes quite nasty in their exchanges with other writers. I'm thinking of the man, at least I assume he's a man, who diagnoses me from afar as having a narcissistic personality disorder or a thought disorder. I mentioned this to my psycho-therapist today and his immediate response was, "We're all narcissists to some degree. We're all somewhere on that narcissistic/altruistic continuum." In essence I made the same point to my obsessed reader by showing him that he acutely fit the therapeutic criteria for narcissism which he provided in his Comment. Of course, not only is that idiot a narcissist of the Highest Degree himself, he also has a First-Grader's comprehension of the English language. He thought he "got me" by claiming I mis-used "fantasy" as a verb. That was another hidden-in-plain view I left for that Stupid Fantasist.

      Anyway, in responding to your question about what my long-suffering Goddess/wife thinks and feels about my airing "her dirty laundry," I should have gone with my intial reaction to your Comment. When I first read it, I thought perhaps you weren't that Dumb-Ass Guy, just posing as a Goddess. Something about the style of it, perhaps it's brevity, suggested you, Anon Goddess, wrote it, although I didn't know who you were. Anyway, I'm sorry I mistook your Comment for one of Blithering Bird-Brain's Blatherings. (Oh, how I'd love to give that Sorry Excuse for A Human With Balls a Good Lathering if I ever meet him!)

      Second, my Goddess is Susie, not Suzie. One and the same Goddess but hold the z and sub the s, Goddess, when you write anon, if I'm right you'll yet again write. Right?

      Third, as for Susie's attitude about my honest writing, she mostly doesn't like it. But I have to write it. I do tone it down a bit, edit out some rather important details, when she or our children might get embarassed or, worse, convert to The Gospel of Bob by something I reveal about my past life.

      [Continued in next Comment window.]

    2. [Continued from preceding Comment window.]

      Fourth, for me, airing my dirty laundry is the best disinfectant and mose effective innoculation against Stealth Drones my enemies or former friends otherwise might be tempted to fly over me and drop bombs filled with Nasty Details all over Middle-Earth aka Middle-Burg aka Middletown aka A Parochial Little Gossip Mill-town. Look at it this way, Goddess. Any scandal from what I've done or fantasied (there's that nasty little verb again) is hear today, gone tomorrow. The attention span of the average American is zero seconds for serious thought and one day for serious scandal. Susie (notice the second "s"?) and my grown children (I have no un-grown ones) may someday realize this principle, although by then the scandal I bring on the family will be long-forgotten replaced by somebody's else's scandal (but hopefully none involving you, dear anon Goddess).

      On an unrelated (to my scandalous scurrilous scrupulousness-not) note, I wonder why you, until-anon-Goddess mixed third-party speech about yourself with party-first in your most recent Comment. I BEG of you NOT to answer this question as I prefer to be adrift on a sea of speculation than have you fill in the blanks with pot-shots of third-party references to yourself. Here's why. When you speak of yourself, Gorgeous Goddess, in third-person, thereby you treat yourself as object, not subject. Experiencing Goddesses as Objects of Male Gaze, and the like, is SO Passe'. For blissful rolls in hay, Studly MMMs (Mere Mortal Men), even Old ones, Subject Goddesses not Object Ones, prefer.

      Of course, being subject, not subjugated, Supreme anon Goddess, your bliss is my command. Either Re-ply or go Bye-thee-Bye, as the Goddess wills, anon.

      All best,

      The Man Who Loved(s) Goddesses

    3. Well I certainly hope none of my own scandals are aired in this same fashion (and there are scandals aplenty from which to choose) by me OR my other. I'm sure your own grown children would have trouble NOT hearing of yours At this point. But if you are being this honest with the world then I assume you are as honest with them. While I wonder what Susie thinks I wonder about your children as well. Oh and I also wonder how you feel about Charlie Sheen.
      ~new goddess anon

    4. Dear New Goddess Anon (March 10, 2012 4:54 p.m.),
      The scandals to which I refer are rather pedestrian, and well-known to Susie and my grown children. So yes, I am as honest with my wife and children, as I'm being with the world, at least the tiny slice of the human population which is even paying attention. Given the really horrible things happening in the world, what Assad is doing in Homs, Syria, comes to mind, what I have done in my life of a scandalous nature is quite benign and yawn-inducing, except in the hypocritcal and rigidly moralistic. And I prefer to air the dirty laundry and just get the negative reaction of the world over with. Scandal today, tsk tsk, gone from the mind of others tomorrow. And America is the land of second chances. Richard Nixon and Bill Clinton redeemed themselves, just to take one from either side of the world of politics, after much bigger scandals.

      Well, as I've said, Susie would rather I had remained just the way I was before I decided to retire, when I was, as I put it, and ass-kissing lawyer. Same with my kids, I'm sure. But feel free to ask any of them. They're all on Facebook. My FB page lists all of them. Except, that is, Susie, who doesn't do FB. But she's easy to reach. I think you can guess what she'd tell you.

      Ah, New Goddess Anon, I really like you're intuitive grasp of the important comparisons. Charlie Sheen is an excellent question.

      Susie hates it when I say, "Hey, in Hollywood my behavior would be a bore. Next to Charlie Sheen and his cocaine habit and his porn Goddess habit, I'm just a yawn-inducing old man." "But you're NOT in Hollywood," she says. True enough, but you get the picture. You're smart. I'm not taking any of the Goddesses home from the dance clubs. I'm not doing cocaine or anything remotely like that. I'm just having a good time, getting great exercise, showing off, performing, and getting myself in interesting situations. All stuff I've probably secretly wanted to do for decades but didn't have the cohones, or perspective, that suriving a suicidal depression, a self-inflicted near-death experience, gave me. I now appreciate my chance at life in a way I never did before I truly wanted to end my life. Funny how that works, isn't it.

      You really should read Bill Peschel's "Writers Gone Wild," if you want to put characters like me in historical perspective. I'm not the most boring writer who's ever lived, but I'm far from the most colorful. Read the book. Or wait until I write mine. Better yet, wait for mine. Maybe I'll call it "Writer Gone A Little Bit Wild."

      All best,

      Wild and Revealing Bob

    5. P.S.: I like you and your to-the-point Comments and excellent questions. Please write to me again. Thanks.