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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

At Long Last, A Few Stills from "The Photographic Proof" of my first Night at the Mezzo Disco, on July 16, 2011, And Why I Don't Think This Proves "Bob's Lost It"

In my July 22, 2011 Bob's blog post, I described my first-ever adventure at disco dancing at the Mezzo Grille disco, with energetic and attractive young women, and men (the men don't dirty dance with me but they do like to show Grandude their cool hand and foot moves, and high-five Grandude, and forearm- and fist-bump Grandude).  In that earlier blog post, I had no Photographic Proof to offer the Doubting Thomas-es among you.  Here, now, is the Photographic Proof, which was recently release the Obama administration's CIA "Top Secret--Eyes Only" file on the Old Dancin' Grandude.


A few days ago,  I found some photos that one of the Young Women who Dared to Dirty Dance with Grandude had posted on her Facebook public Profile page.  To my pleasant surprise, they included 17 photographs by her girlfriends of her dirty dancing with me, the Dancin' Old Grandude.  

I was wearing a light olive green tee-shirt with "Occidental Gypsies" on the front, which I had purchased that night at The Buttonwood Tree ("TBT"), where I earlier that evening had heard a performance by the group "The Occidental Gypsies."  I posted a video clip on "Bob's blog" showing the back of me dancing at that performance, in my dark blue "Aloha Hawaii Kawaii" tee shirt, before I bought the Occidental Gypsies tee-shirt.  Before moving from TBT to the Mezzo Grille disco, I changed into the Occidental Gypsies tee-shirt.  Here are a few of the 17 photos from that first night at the Mezzo disco, the rest of which can be seen if you Friend me on Facebook.

If you want to see the rest of the 17 photos of my first night on the Mezzo disco dance floor, you'll have to Friend me on my Facebook page, and then you can see all the photos.  Here's where my FB page is:         

Now if you're wondering, "Isn't Bob kinda' Losing It by acting this way?!", I need to explain something to you.  Now that I'm going to a black church, Zion First Black Baptist in Middletown, which is best-characterized as a "praise service" church, I finally understand that it's God who gets me up each morning.  I have little to do with it.  And God who gives me the energy to write this blog and dance and do what I have to do to make sure Susie's taken care of from her bicycle crash and all that jazz.  

But I don't know, maybe you do, if God'll decide to get me up tomorrow morning.  So today, just for today, and to praise God for giving me another day on this wonderful earth, I'm going to experience all the joy, and pain, that life can bring us.  Every day.  Today and, if I'm lucky, tomorrow.

Below is a quotation from the earlier "Bob's blog" post about the first night I went to dance at the Mezzo disco, on July 16, 2011, following a concert by The Occidental Gypsies at The Buttonwood Tree, just so you can, if you wish, refresh your memory about what how I described that first night on the dance floor and see if I was jiving you then or telling it straight.  So, here it was, just as I wrote it, in my July 22, 2011 "Bob's blog" post:

And I quote:

"So, without further ado, here's a link to what might be called, for want of a better title, "Bob, the Dancin' Fool, filmed accidentally at The Occidental Gypsies' TBT concert":

Now remember, because I only got the runner-up award, you have to scroll half-way down the linked page to get to the second-prize-winner, your faithful correspondent, Grandude.

And this little performance is nothing compared with The Dancin' Fool's infamous performance at the Mezzo Grill's disco, much later on the night of July 16 and detailed but, alas, without video proof, in my Bob's blog entry of July 22, 2011, to wit:

Saturday--attended a Buttonwood Tree performance by Occidental Gypsies, an excellent instrumental and singing group.  Then went to Mezzo Grill where I experienced for the first time the amazing Caribbean-inspired gigantic deck and bar area, followed by dancing in the upstairs disco, which had a really good black DJ from NYC.  As the only 61-year-old, uninhibited "old" man in the place, other than the bouncers, and also the only man in the club not on the lookout for picking up anyone, being a happily married man, I danced for two hours, from 11 p.m. to 1 a.m., with lots of people coming up to me to dance, mostly young women but also some guys whose girlfriends would not come out onto the dance floor.  I did have young men, white and black, coming up to me and offering to buy me drinks, although I'd had one beer in the outside area and only wanted water, which they got for me.  The question I mostly got asked by these guys, the white guys, that is, is, "Who ARE you?" i.e., how are you so free and uninhibited with that graying beard of yours.  When I explained that I'm a 61-year-old, happily married man, with four kids and a grandson, and internally very free after retiring from my 35-year-straight-jacket, but interesting, career as a trial lawyer, they fully understood and gave me high-fives, forearm bumps, and closed fist bumps, with smiles on their faces.  My advice to anyone who wants to do what I do on a dance floor when I'm all alone is this--just dance, let people come up to you to dance, make absolutely no attempt to ask anyone their name, tell them your name, or make any small talk, and keep your hands TOTALLY to yourself, and the message comes across, LOUD AND CLEAR, that you're there to DANCE and HAVE A BLAST, not pick anyone up.  No problems then ensue.  None at all.  Just one heck of a fun time for an "old" grandude.  Of course, when I saw Susie at Apple Rehab the next day, I tell all the details of what I've done, and she just gets a kick out of it."  END OF QUOTE FROM July 22, 2011 "Bob's blog" post.


  1. why is no one from his family intervening here? Bob, please get a hold of yourself. get some help. I feel bad for you and your family. You are the laughing stock of everyone who reads this sad and troubling account of a man who has clearly lost his mind. Why is no one else speaking up?

  2. thank you, Anonymous, for your perceptive and interesting Comment. do you have any objection to my including your ideas in a stand-up comedy performance? also, could you please clarify what part of my body you'd like me to get hold of? not clear from your Comment. Thanks.

  3. one more question, if i may, Anonymous. what intervention could my family actually do in this situation which would pass legal scrutiny? i assume you've given this some thought, since you've made the recommendation.

    just wonderin'........

  4. Bob's Family MembersSeptember 14, 2011 at 10:25 AM

    Dear Anonymous,
    We, Bob's Family, have tried to intervene. We've tried to speak up. All to No Avail.
    We, have concluded, reluctantly, but after professional consultation, that Bob needs a Brain Transplant. Unfortunately, and tragically, no one has yet stepped up to offer his or her brain for this worthy purpose.
    Anonymous, we appeal to you as Bob's family, in the name of preventing Bob from remaining the laughingstock he so obviously aspires to be, would you be willing to offer your brain to replace Bob's brain(if any there be)? We would be most indebted to you if you would agree to this request. If you agree, what do you want the Brain Transplant Surgeons to do with your remains?
    Most Sincerely,

    Bob's Family

  5. Keep partying. You're family should only intervene if you get gold teeth and matching gold rims on your subaru.

  6. It is indeed really sad.. I feel like I am watching/reading a news story about someone who did something really awful to someone else or themselves and no one did anything to stop him. These are warning signs. Someone please help this man before he hurts himself or someone else.

  7. Dear Anonymous,
    You "feel" you are reading or watching a story about someone who cried out for help, the warning signs were ignored, and the person hurt himself or somebody else.

    You have a most bizarre fantasy life in the sense that it is disconnected from any reasonable interpretation of my behavior dancing in a disco with young women.

    I have no fantasies, wishes, or desires to hurt myself or anyone else. Such fantasies, wishes, or desires are the typical basis for people to become concerned that a person who has them may hurt himself or someone else.
    I've never heard of a case of somebody, like me, who retires from a straight-laced profession, the law, after 35 years to write a blog, dance several nights a week at dance clubs, try his hand at stand-up comedy, and then goes out and hurts somebody else. Have you? If so, please let me know what case you're thinking about, where you've "read or watched" a story about someone, like me, who hurt somebody else.

    As for wishes to hurt myself, I did go through a suicidal depression from September through December of 2010, but that merely sparked my recovery and motivated me to make profound changes in my life which now give me great satisfaction. I write extensively about all of this on "Bobs blog" and you might read more of my posts if you truly want to understand me better. I now have no wish to die, merely to live, fully and, I hope, a long time into the future, and in good health, God willing.

    All best to you in your own psychological struggle with whatever ails you.

    All best wishes

    Bob Dutcher

  8. First of all hes harmless, I <3 this guy. He is an old guy out to have a good time. He doesnt even drink. Give him a fucking break. Get to know him, speak to him hes a friendly guy just enjoying his final years in life. Back off! I guess I was the only one who had the balls to step up and dance with him an get to know him. Everyone needs to stop being scared and thinking all people that arent your age are creeps! Got something to say back... speak up! Please would love to hear it!

  9. Dear Gretchen,
    Thanks SO much for reading "Bobs blog" and also for writing your wonderful Comment.
    There's NO QUESTION that you have the biggest female COHONES of all, 'cuz you had the big ones that night back in July to dance with me when I got up the courage as an Old Dude to just go out and start dancing by my lonesome at the Mezzo disco.
    As I've become known in the dance club scene by more and more young people, there is much less reluctance for people to dance with me. And that includes guys who like to show me their dance moves as well as women who want to dance with me.
    I am one of the least aggressive dancers in the clubs, in terms of my reluctance to approach women who haven't indicated any interest in having me dance with them. I frequently suggest to guys that they not aggressively move in on women on the dance floor. "Treat them like the Goddesses they are, dudes," I often say, "and let them decide if they want to dance with you."
    You, Gretchen, and your beloved boyfriend, Evan, have a special place in my heart, for you had the self-confidence, playfulness, and sense of fun to come over and dance with me that night back in mid-July, before you or anyone else knew anything about me and my style of being-on-the-dance-floor. And for that I am forever in your, and Evan's, debt.
    Evan is a special kind of guy. Very secure in himself and in his relationship with you. He may not want to spend as much time out on the dance floor as you do with your girlfriends, but he also has the security within himself to let you have fun in your own way out on the dance floor.
    I hope you and Evan, and your families and friends, have a wonderful Christmas.
    All best wishes,

    Bob Dutcher, the Crazy Old Dancin' Dude

  10. Doesnt give u a right to eploit my picture take itdown? Natalia.

  11. U are a creepy guy defend urself with false bullshit u say all u want, Its all smoke u blow up ppls asses anyways idc what u say I know its not ok to grind on a girl that could be ur daughter, its not playong ur righteous part on society its making excuses to look for a fun release at ur age in the wrong ways and places. Sorry dude admit ur faults

  12. Dear Natalia,
    Whoever you are, the photos of me dancing are of Gretchen and me, not you. I don't know who you are but you're certainly entitled to your opinion of my behavior and I have no interest in trying to persuade you otherwise.
    I do disagree with your prejudice against people of different ages dancing with each other. Where would you draw the line? One year older? Ten? Six months? I have to tell you that most of the people whom I interact with on the dance floor of the clubs I dance at are very encouraging of my energetic dancing. Your parochial attitude is in the distinct minority, for what that's worth to you.
    Also, since I don't know you, I assume from your Comment that you're younger in years than I am. I must say, however, that in your attitude, you give the impression of being someone much older than I, and very set in your ways. Age is only partly a matter of chronology; it is also a state of mind, and your mind does not seem to have a youthful vitality and openness. That's kind of sad.
    You're probably unaware there was a time in our nation's history when blacks and whites of any age could not dance together without incurring the prejudice of the kind you feel about age. There are other prejudiced people who still feel that people of different religions should not interact. That's the sort of prejudice which leads to feuds and warfare. If you are uncomfortable with diversity on the dance floor, you might consider taking up other activities, like unisex basket-weaving.
    I have no idea what kind of life you lead and, frankly, I don't care. I don't know what your "faults" are, if any, and I don't care. There may exist prejudiced people, younger than you, who think you should be sitting in a rocking chair rather than doing whatever it is you do for fun and enjoyment in life. If so, would you tell yourself, "Oh, my God, somebody doesn't like what I do for fun, I better crawl into a cave to avoid risking people criticizing me or making fun of me?"
    Some people, even in America, still feel that women should not wear short dresses or dance in discos. Do you plan to listen to their recommendations for your behavior? If the freewheeling ambiance of the disco is too upsetting to your sensibilities, have you ever considered joining a convent and becoming a nun?
    You tell me, "Sorry dude admit ur faults." Somebody much wiser than you, whoever you are, and I, who lived two millenia ago, once said, "Before you point out the speck in somebody else's eye, be sure you notice the stone in your own eye." You have no obligation to follow his advice, but at least it'll give you something to think about as you go around puritanically scolding other people. The Taliban in Afghanistan, and the Morals Police in Saudi Arabia, would love to have somebody with your squeaky-clean, uptight moral sensitivities join their program of thought and behavior control, except for the fact that you would appear from your name to be a woman.
    One other possibility for you to do is this: Get a life, dude.
    All best,

    Bob Dutcher

    P.S.: If you would like to discuss your concerns in greater depth, please let me know.

  13. Haha Gooo Dancing gran dad! =) Ur right u didnt do ne thing wrong, u never have from what ive seen. Ur a good guy. U mean no harm and u wouldnt dance with "us" young ladies if we didnt want u too.U have alot of respect for "us" young ladies. And yes the only girl in the dancing pictures are me so I dont see why there r ne problems. if i didnt want them displayed id say so and would have never posted them my self. I dont see ne thing wrong with what u do. U dance, u mind ur own business who cares?! U danced with me cuz I had the balls to come over to dance with u first. U never touched me and did ne thing outa hand. Ys it that its ok for young ppl to get out there and dance but then when an older person like ur self wants to make some moves its a problem. Im sorry Bob that ur gettin all this negative bullshit from ppl. Its so stupid! In my eyes ur a cool dude! Keep it up! =)

  14. Hope u have a wonderful Christmas as well! -From me & Evan

  15. Dear Gretchen (and Evan)[since you present yourselves, and I enjoy thinking of you as a totally-in-love-with-each-other couple],
    Thanks, again, for your supportive Comment.
    I truly appreciate the fact you notice how much I try to R-E-S-P-E-C-T all you Goddesses out there on the dance floor. I constantly suggest to the Hot Young Studs that they not presume to enter the Goddesses' space, touch you, or otherwise manifest the attitude of "I, Hot Young Stud that I am, OWN you, Goddess." Maybe I'm outta' place saying this to the guys, but I actually think most of them appreciate the unsolicited advice. Once, at Mezzo disco, three Best Girlfriends were dancing with me and a young man just took it upon himself to grab each of the Goddesses in turn and grind himself into them. One of them took it in stride but the other two were clearly uncomfortable and I had to catch one of them as she feel from the excessive pressure of his unwanted body against hers. DJ Chris's music was, of course, so loud that it made it impossible for the guy to understand me asking him to stop it, but very soon a bouncer came over and asked the guy to cut it out or he'd toss him out on his grinding a--.
    As for the age issue, I'm thinking of writing a "Bobs blog" piece about "Age: The Last Frontier." Before I got up the courage to dance at Mezzo on July 16, 2011, and you had the female Big Balls to come over and have a little innocent fun with me by dancing with me, I always thought that race was a bigger barrier to human interaction than age. But then I started going to Zion First Black Baptist Church in Middletown around the same time and saw that I was readily welcomed into the church as the only obviously "pink-skinned" guy. And I've never taken ANY heat in Comments on "Bobs blog" for leaving the white church I used to go to or singing and dancing with my wonderful new black friends every Sunday morning at Zion.
    BUT I have taken quite a bit of heat, from young and old people, in Comments here about my dancing with mostly young people in the dance clubs. Listen, I'm happy the dance clubs are filled with chronologically mostly young people because the young typically have the kind of energy which I still have in my body and spirit even at my advanced age. Frankly, there are some young guys I've seen who have as much flexibility, energy, and lack-of-inhibition as I display on the dance floor, but many of the young guys are so into "lookin' good" and not "lookin' like a fool" that they just stand around and watch everybody else dance. Before I had a long legal career behind me, I'd probably have acted the same way. Now I don't really care much what other people think about what I'm doing. I know I'm not doing anything wrong so why should I sit home and watch TV when there are dance clubs with great music and ALIVE people who are interested in achieving the same state of ecstasy from dancing as I am?
    (This Comment is continued below.)

  16. (Comment Replying to Gretchen, above, is continued here)

    Natalia's Comment is typical of the naysayers. (Unfortunately, whoever she is, she made little impression on me because I don't know who she is. To the extent that she CHOOSES to be upset with my behavior, while it is within her power to choose to see it differently, I do feel compassion for her, as a fellow human being, that she has put herself into such a state of pain because of the way she chooses to think about what I do on the dance floor.) I don't know anything about her life and relationship with her father, but the story I tell myself is this. She may well have unresolved feelings about her father which she projects onto me when she sees me dancing with, as she put it in her Comment "girls who are young enough to be my daughter." Interesting fantasy she has but, as we know, none of the girls who choose to dance with me are my daughter. She lives in San Francisco and if I saw her on the dance floor, I assure you she would not dance with me and certainly not "dirty dance" with me.
    Well, Gretchen (and Evan), that's a long response to your second Comment but I wanted to clarify a few things about how I view the situation. I have no idea what your relationship is with your father, but I wouldn't be surprised if you have a psychologically more mature relationship with your father than Natalia does. Again, I am speculating, since I don't know either of you or your family dynamics but one club about it is your relationship with Evan. You guys are so close, love each other so much, from what you show about yourselves in your photos on Facebook, the things you say about each other in picture captions and FB Comments, and the freedom you give to each other to be whoever you are, without trying to control the other, that I can only conclude that you both have successfully detached yourselves psychologically from the naturally strong childhood attachment to your parents of the opposite sex, leaving you both free to love each other in a mature way. Again, I may be full of baloney, maybe worse, but that's the hunch the little evidence I see leads me to have.
    Whatever, none of that really matters to what is important to me about the two of you. And that is this: you're free enough in your relationship with each other that you, Gretchen, felt comfortable giving the Crazy Old Dancin' Dude a spin on the dance floor, with my old man's gray beard and crickety old bones, thereby giving me just the right feedback to keep me comin' back for more. So if anybody's to blame for creating this Monstrous Old Dude's Presence on the dance floors of Middletown, Giants Stadium (see "Bobs blog" post about that one), and Philly (my cousin's son's wedding), it's you and Evan for being as comfortable and free with yourselves and each other as you are! Now obviously I'm only kidding, and you guys are in NO way responsible for anything I choose to do. But I AM forever grateful to both of you and both of you will forever have a special place in my heart. Can't say the same for the naysayers, but if they don't let go of the negativity in their souls, they're probably condemning themselves to an early demise, which is unfortunate.
    All best wishes (and if you ever need legal advice, you know how to get hold of me),

    Bob, the Crazy Old Dancin' Grandude

  17. P.S.: I wish you both, Gretchen and Evan, and even Natalia, whoever you are and whatever age you are (chronologically, mentally, spiritually, and psychologically), a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy, Fun, and Productive New Year!

    All best wishes and karma,

    Bob, the Crazy Old Dancin' Grandude

  18. elisabeth from BelgiumFebruary 14, 2012 at 6:47 AM

    " If you bring forth what is within you
    what you bring forth will save you
    If you do not bring forth what is within you
    what you do not bring forth will destroy you"

  19. Dear Elisabeth (from Belgium),
    I love the quote. Is it your creation? It doesn't matter, but I am simply curious.
    Some people just don't understand why I had to leave my nearly 36-year law practice. I suspect you do. Keeping all of what was within me bottled up inside me was literally killing me. I had to leave a profession I loved, but whose money-making aspect I came to detest, to learn to find unpaid work which gradually emerged from my inner world. My evolution into a different person, a different persona, is ongoing. And very exciting and enlivening. Where once I felt dead, I now am alive to every moment of every day. Having supportive, loving friends such as you, Elisabeth, is wonderfully encouraging and heartening. I shall try my best to live up to your faith in me.
    Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog and post your Comment.
    All best,

    Bob Dutcher