Follow by Email

Thursday, April 12, 2012

My Recent Confrontation with a Man named John Uccello of 61 Bretton Road, Middletown, CT who can Dish it out but He Cannot take it, In Connection with the Trayvon Martin murder case

This Facebook post yesterday by my friend Ryan Estevez, following the arrest of George Zimmerman on Second Degree Murder charges in the killing of Trayvon Martin, called to mind the following recent confrontation I had with a man named John who can dish it out but he cannot take it.   The story about the encounter, which involved John calling the Middletown police, follows the Facebook post.






      A man named John Uccello of 61 Bretton Road, Middletown, CT called the Middletown police on me a few weeks ago at Klekolo Coffee shop in Middletown.  He was mouthing off that Trayvon Martin had viciously physically attacked George Zimmerman and broke Zimmerman's nose and bloodied his face.  In response, John was certain, Zimmerman HAD to use his weapon to shoot and kill Trayvon.  I said I very much doubted this was what happened.  I asked John what his source of information was: Fox News, he reported.  I said when I read it in the NYTimes I may decide to give it some credence, although even the Times has gotten things wrong in the past (think WMD in Iraq and Judith Martin's failure to question the Bush administration sufficiently on the point).
       A few days later, when more of the facts about the case had come out in the press, including the police video of Zimmerman walking with no visible evidence of trauma on his face, I again saw this man John at Klekolo.  I asked him if he was now going to retract his slanderous comments about Trayvon.  He told me to "get out of his face."  I asked him why he had been able to dish it out to me in our previous encounter but now he couldn't handle my coming back at him, armed with more realistic reports about the case.
       I then walked away from him and began talking with a woman I knew and her friend at another table.  I heard John calling the police dispatcher and describing my clothing and appearance.  "What a WIMP," I thought, that this grown man needs to call his Mommy the police to fight his mental battle with me!
       The police showed up, I explained what happened, they asked me to leave, and I told them I intended to remain to finish my conversation with the women.  When that was concluded, I left the coffee shop and was talking to some people on the sidewalk outside.  Another young man who apparently frequents the coffee shop told me to leave.  I told him I was standing on a public sidewald and would leave when I decided to leave.  The police were standing around and asked me to leave.  I asked them if they were the mediatators of neighborhood non-violent disagreements and they said they were not.  I told the police I objected to their using their apparent authority, as armed officers of the law, to ask me to leave a public sidewalk when I was not committing any crime or hurting anyone.  They did not know what to say but again reiterated their request I leave, just to "calm the situation down."  I looked the cop in the eye, smiled, and told him that, out of the goodness of my heart, and because I liked the way he had handled the situation inside the coffee shop involving John, in a calm and restrained fashion, I decided I'd leave and go elsewhere in town.  The cop thanked me, I thanked him, and I left.  On the way by the window to the coffee shop, I smiled and waved at John through the window, but he, having no balls and looking like a frustrated and angry little boy, looked away.
        I have ZERO respect for people who can dish it out but can't take it.  ZERO.  Pity, disdain, yes, but NO respect.


58 comments:

  1. Better watch out Bob-O, as Treyvon found out don't pick a fight with a stranger. That's just common sense. You too dear. Don't want people missing out on your clown dancing and future run in with the law for being a pesky old man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Goddess Full of Worry and Anxiety (April 12, 2012 at 5:14 a.m.),

      I'm not picking anything. My nose occasionally, when I don't have a Kleenex at hand, but not a fight. I'm just responding. If my interlocutors think I'm itching for a fight, they're wrong. My intention is to exchange words for words. Glances for glances. I will defend myself physically if attacked, if I'm unable to walk away, although I will not throw the first blow.

      Pesky Old Man. I like that phrase. You're most kind to a Mere Mortal Old Man.

      All best, love,

      Bobby

      Delete
  2. Why doesn't anyone ever ask why a parent let their minor son out in an unknown neighborhood at night? The parents have blood on their hands. Didn't the fathers girlfriend, of course the parents were not married, know anything about the crime spree by blacks in the area? She didn't know that there was a crime watch in effect for dark skinned youths looking for trouble? Come on. Pay attention and none of this would have happened.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear Barry Obama-NOT,

    You MUST be kidding. You probably also believe in the tooth fairy and that guns don't kill people, just people kill people.

    Look, if your theory of proximate causation is viable, then we should go back farther in time and blame our white ancestors who brought Trayvon's ancestors over here in chains in the hold of the Amistad. If that's the case, then please let me know who they were so I can file suit against them before the statute of limitations runs out.

    All best,

    Your You've-GOT-to-be-Kidding Moral Philosopher

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wait a sec... Keep a teenager in at night, and tell him he can't go to a 7/11 to buy a soda and a candy bar? What world do you live in? Are you suggesting ...running your home like a Stalag? Try running those rules by your own teenager, when you have one. How ridiculous a statement is that?...AND... being married or unmarried (message is your telling us, their living in sin), has absolutely nothing to do with anything. Blood on their hands, as the victim's parent ???? Obviously in your world 'white is black & black is white'. If your child ever gets shot, under these same circumstances, lets see how quick you are to apply the same rules to yourself.

    This is what I think may have happened... Black Treyvon is spotted in gated community, and Zimmerman immediately assumes, he doesn't belong there. Pursues the individual & the kid panics ~ runs. Perhaps even see's Zimmerman brandishing a gun. Zimmerman makes call to Police, and is told " NOT TO PURSUE ", but Zimmerman ignores Police directive, intent on taking thelaw into his own hands. Point to note here is the word " PURSUE" & it doesn't have the same meaning as " STAND YOUR GROUND ". Zimmerman, having not witnessed a crime committed, is hunting down an innocent individual. The only infraction that Treyvon has committed is, he's ' WAWB' (walking around while Black), and perhaps that all Zimmerman needs to suspect this individual. Zimmerman is the aggressor here, and if Treyvon actually hit him, I would rule it as defense, against a possible deranged White man, with a gun. Putting yourself in Treyvon's mind for a sec, he's probably asking himself, why is this guy after me? I haven't done anything illegal. Perhaps he might have been thinking, 'this guy intends to rob me'...and...If Zimmerman hurled a racial slur at Treyvon, it gave Treyvon, all the more reason to fear him. Here's something else to think about, if Treyvon were White, would this have had the same tragic ending? Lastly, some people are trying to make Treyvon out to be a bad kid, because he was suspended from school. Lots of teens get suspended from school, during their acting out years. This is not a reason for Treyvon, or any kid for that matter, to be shot. Some people are pointing out, 'there was crime in the community'. -- Doesn't matter if there had been crime in the neighborhood, or not. The community watch in the guise of Zimmerman stepped way over the line, in pursuing this innocent individual & without provocation killing him. A professionally trained Police officer would have exercised restraint, and would have dealt with Treyvon in a completely different manner. The untrained & lethally armed Zimmerman, did not.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Anonymous (April 12, 2012 at 7:37 a.m.),

      I agree with how you see the case. However, that said, a large part of the outcome of the trial will depend on the forensic evidence. And it's tragic that the police department did not do a thorough forensic investigation right away. Still, a lot will come down to things like this: is there any medical evidence that Zimmerman's nose was fractured or the rear of his head injured? Does Trayvon's body show any evidence of physical injury consistent with either aggression or self-defense?

      But at least a judicial process has been started. The U.S. Department of Justice is also investigating. We'll just have to see how the case looks once more of the physical evidence is leaked out to the press. Thank goodness the press is taking this case seriously.

      And this is the first national conversation about racial profiling in many many years. It's long overdue.

      All best,

      A Man who Agrees with your Point of View

      Delete
  5. You wont say it publicly, but in your heart of hearts you know black people are ruining this country. De-segregation of schools was the worst thing that ever happened. My daughter used to attend middle town schools; until a black asked her in the fourth grade if he could "tongue punch her fart box"!! 10 years old, give me a break. I could write a book detailing how there's nothig American about African Americans.

    All the best,

    The "not-so-closet" racist

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Racist Anonymous (April 12, 2012 at 7:41 a.m.),

      I'll give you this: you're honest about being a racist.

      But I disagree with the rest of it. One counter-example will suffice to demonstrate how I look at this. There are many Catholic priests who have criminal and un-Catholic sexual relations with young boys. Does that mean that pedophile priests are ruining this country, as well as Ireland and all the other countries where there are pedophile priests?

      All best,

      An Open-Minded Guy

      Delete
  6. Really? Bob, come on now.....yet another situation where you are standing there minding your own business and the police need to be called and you are kicked out of an establishment? Can you really be this stupid and oblivious to reality? Whatever you are doing is not normal or accceptable in society.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Sanctimonious Anonymous (April 12, 2012 at 9:25 a.m.),

      I was challenging John Uccello of 61 Bretton Road, Middletown, CT at Klekolo Coffee Shop to retract some of the racist remarks he had made the previous week to me and others at the coffee shop about Trayvon Martin and the murder case. He refused. He told me to get out of his face. I went over to talk with some women I knew on the south side of the coffee shop, far away from John Uccello, who was sitting by the window in the northeast corner of Klekolo, and he called the police.

      The police did not NEED to be called. John Uccello is a wimp and can't handle discussing an issue he has racist views about, which he loudly shouted to me the preceding week at the same location, without calling in his Mommy Police force boys.

      I am not stupid. John Uccello IS stupid, in that he misinterprets what he hears on Fox News and fits it into his own racist world view.

      I was NOT kicked out of the establishment. After talking with the police, I voluntarily left Klekolo.

      I am NOT oblivious to reality. Please explain the basis of that claim.

      What I am doing is what I choose to do. You may not find it "normal" or "acceptable in society," but you are only one out of lot of people. Who appointed you spokesman for Society and what is Normal?

      All best,

      A Man who Does What He Chooses to Do

      Delete
  7. I never heard the police tell Zimmerman not to pursue only that "we dont need you to do that". A very indirect order from law enforcement. If they would have said Stop, do not go after him. Maybe there would be a case.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Oblivious Will (April 12, 2012 at 9:59 a.m.),

      I predict a jury or judge will conclude that "we don't need you to do that," in the context of this case, would reasonably be interpreted by Zimmerman, or a reasonable person, to mean, "Don't pursue him." And I agree with you, that since that IS what was intended and should have been understood in that way by Zimmerman, along with many other factors, there IS a case of murder here.

      All best,

      A Man who does not Bury his Head in the Sand

      Delete
  8. I was at the scene at the coffee shop and Bob yelled and was very threatening. People around there know he was not welcome before that incident. Bob has many issues. Some untreatable. That's the main reason he lost his job. He was making the workplace uncomforable for everybody. I knew a lawyer who worked there and left to start his own lawfirm. Bob lost more clients than he did cases. His last publication was from 1975. So for all his opinions now there was nobody who would write them in a professional publication during his 35 years as person with a law degree.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Tyron Bentley (April 12, 2012 at 10:10 a.m.),

      I was NOT yelling and I did not threaten anyone. Who are the "people around there" who allegedly "knew" I was not welcome? Let's name names, son.

      I did NOT lose my job. My partners wanted me to continue in the law practice but I did not. I was one of the top two money producers in the firm and they did not want me to leave.

      I trained many lawyers who left the firm and started their own practices. Whom are you referring to? Name names, please.

      I gained many more clients from referrals from old clients plus many other non-trial lawyer lawyers who referred their cases to me. Have you seen my resume on this blog? I had no interest in writing for legal publications after my 1975 law review article in the Georgetown Law Journal.

      You are so full of baloney, bullshit really, I am certain you are due for a full body colonoscopy.

      All best,

      A Man More Intelligent and Gifted than You Can Only Dream to Become, sonny boy

      Delete
  9. Tyron from your churchApril 12, 2012 at 12:23 PM

    We all know you left in disgrace. Sexual harassment claims, attempted murder, alcoholism, DUIs, and other things you were found guilty of. Who sees a shrink weekly if things are going great? You poor dancing clown. Isn't it true your family moved West to avoid the decline of a sensible old fool? The same reason your wife left you? Poor dancing clown.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dear Tryon But You Are NOT from my Church Anonymous (April 12, 2012 at 12:23 p.m.),

    I did not leave my law firm in disgrace. There were no sexual harassment claims, no attempted murder, no DUIs, and I was not found guilty of anything.

    I see my psycho-therapist weekly because, as Socrates once said, famously, "The unexamined life is not worth living." From the tenor of your Comment, I can tell, clearly and beyond a reasonable doubt, that your life is NOT worth living.

    My children are adventurers, explorers, just like me, their father. They have the stuff it takes, which you do not, to range widely in this great world, and sample all its wonderful delights.

    My wife did not "leave me." I am not poor, either in money or spirit, I do dance, and I love to clown.

    My advice to you: get an education and a life.

    All best,

    Your Better

    ReplyDelete
  11. Slavery was not such a bad institution when we owned then the problem is now that they have no fields to work on or whips to domesticate them. It's like an old radiation plant. Produced a lot of energy when it was at full capacity but man, what to do with the worthless radioactive waste.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dear Sub-Human Racist Anonymous (April 12, 2012 at 1:50 p.m.),

    This is why the Trayvon Martin case is all about race. Your despicable attitude. Why don't you be a man and identify yourself? Or better yet, come to my black baptist church next Sunday and tell my brothers and sisters how you feel about them, simply because they have a different color skin to what you like.

    All best,

    Your Moral Superior

    ReplyDelete
  13. It's would be simple if it were just their skin. Their entire culture and failure to think is the reason the world looks down on blacks. We'd be more like Canada if we didn't have slavery. Who wants I pay healthcare for a bunch of filthy drunk apes? Skin color is just the way nature identities then to others as the plague they are.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Barrack Obama-NOT (April 12, 2012 at 2:24 p.m.),

      Black culture has produced some great inventions, music, literature, and political movements.

      It's white people like you who give non-whites the idea that white people are stupid and morally obtuse, as you are.

      You also appear to write at an elementary school level. You might try some remedial reading and writing courses. Also, I suggest you crawl back into whatever hole in the ground you live in.

      All best,

      An Enlightened Man who happens to have been born with light skin and a far better mind and moral sensibility than you

      Delete
  14. The only question and I'll leave it for you to provide a sensible answer to. How is it that you've been thrown out of so many places? It's incomprehensible to all of us reading this, i mean it's not one establishment, it's not a few establishments, it's several establishments in several different towns and cities throughout Connecticut. Time to grow up!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Dear Illiterate Anonymous (April 12, 2012 at 5:44 p.m.),

    You either can't read, or haven't read, my blog. I've explained why I've been asked to leave several establishments. Look, I bring attention to myself by my energetic dancing. Some men are jealous of the attention I get from the Goddesses and they either complain to management or the ARE the management and I get asked to leave. It's as simple as that.

    All best,

    A Wrongfully Excluded Dancin' Dude

    ReplyDelete
  16. Stop bothering the world. Be a grandfather or something. Your an embarrassment and that's just what I gather from your writings. I thought you were a teenager from some of your posts. Your over 60. Get with it.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Dear Bothered Anonymous (April 12, 2012 at 6:19 p.m.),

    Get a life, son. I AM a grandfather. I'm not an embarrassment to me but you clearly choose to be bothered by the way I live my life. WHY, exactly, do you CARE how I live my life? What's it to you? Get over it and get on with yours.

    The teenager analogy is a good one. I am changing, growing, living in new ways. It's quite an adventure, especially since age-ist people like you must think that life ends at what, 30?

    All best,

    A Very Dynamic Human Being, Extremely Young at Heart

    ReplyDelete
  18. Where is your wife in all this great journey?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Not Reading My Blog Anonymous (April 12, 2012 at 6:29 p.m.),

      Are you hard-of-reading? Read my blog posts more carefully. It's not that hard to find all your answers, right there for the reading. Work a little bit. Look through the older posts. It's all there.

      All best,

      The Man Not Inclined to Repeat the Already-Said

      Delete
    2. Dear Not Reading Anonymous (April 12, 2012 at 6:29 p.m.),

      Perhaps a useful analogy in literature to help you understand Susie's role in all of this would be Homer's "Odyssey." Penelope patiently awaited Odysseus's return from his journey of many years, trying to get back home from the Trojan wars. Along the way, Odysseus had many adventures. If Odysseus had written a blog along the way, I'm SURE all of the people who wonder about me would CERTAINLY question the morals and sanity of Odysseus.

      In the "Odyssey," Penelope embroiders many wall-hangings and rugs to fend off her many suitors. Odysseus eventually finds his way home to Penelope and murders all the suitors. We can assume, perhaps, that the married couple resumed their marriage, but Homer did not write that account.

      I NEEDED to make these major changes in my life. Continuing business as usual was NOT an option for me. THAT was the meaning of my suicidal thoughts, of which I've had NONE since I began making the transition to my new way of being.

      Susie is a strong person. She has survived many difficult challenges in her life. She is adjusting to the changes.

      Perhaps I am like Odysseus, trying to get home to my Penelope. Only time will tell.

      All best,

      Bob, a man not NAMED Ulysseus

      Delete
  19. She left you after you decided to take up freestyle dance as full time hobby? That's odd.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Dear Puzzled Anonymous (April 12, 2012 at 6:41 p.m.),

    My wife did not "leave" me. We had a smaller, more energy-efficient house built and she moved to it when it was finished. I stayed behind in our old home, until it's sold.

    Look, my wife is not an entertainer, as I am. She's not a show-off, as I am. I come from a long line of entertainers and show-offs. Susie simply does not want to be with me when I'm entertaining and showing-off, whether it be dancing or stand-up comedy.

    When I was a buttoned-down trial lawyer, until a year ago, I was liked to entertain and show-off but kept that part of me more under-wraps than I'm willing to do now. Our kids are grown, educated, and living all over the world. If Susie wanted to go with me when I go dancing or doing my comic stuff, she could; I've invited her. But she does not want to do that. I understand why: she does not like all the attention I draw from women when I'm dancing.

    Look, I'm one out of how many billions of people on this planet. The world is a very big place with different customs and lifestyles all over the world. Why should I feel obligated to conform to a narrow and cramped notion of how a man my age "should" behave? I'm not committing any crimes. I AM stirring people up, or at least that's the way people choose to respond to my performances, but why should that be MY concern?

    If that doesn't answer your question, please write again and I'll try to clear up what still puzzles you. Thanks for writing. It's a great question.

    All best,

    Bob

    ReplyDelete
  21. You seem to have committed some crimes Bobby. You claim victory when you plead no contest? Sorry Uncle Buck but you've also been cited for disturbing the peace and you constantly attempt to park without paying. You've also threatened bodily harm right on this blog. Is it true you were pulled over for drunken driving years ago? Why is that well known if its not true?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Lying Libeler Anonymous (April 13, 2012 at 5:21 a.m.),

      It's so easy for a Lying Libeler like you to hide behind your Mommy's skirts of anonymity and tell whatever lies your warped mind can conjure up. The problem is this: the public record supports NONE of your libelous false witness against me.

      I have NEVER committed a crime. I did not plead "no contest" which is also known as nollo contendere in the Latin. The original charge of criminal trespass at the Koji Komedy Klub in New Haven was dropped by the New Haven State's Attorney. Prosecutor Danielowski had to get my PERMISSION to drop the charge. He realized I had been arrested without probable cause and had I demanded the State go forward at a trial, the judge would have been required to reject his wish to drop the charge; in that case, if the prosecutor didn't choose to proceed with the case, the judge would have entered an immediate dismissal.

      But such legal niceties, truths really, are of no concern to a person like you who is both ignorant of legal procedure, the criminal law, and the meaning of truth. You are a liar, a libeler, pure and simple.

      I have NEVER been charged for disturbing the peace. When do you claim that happened? Please provide details. I'd be most interested in learning more about your fantasies about me.

      I do NOT constantly attempt to park without paying. Millions of people get parking tickets every month. I have gotten a few in my lifetime but have never paid a single one. I've contested the few I've gotten and have always been able to persuade the authorities that the citations were unwarranted. Remember: just because a person has been arrested does not mean the police officer has made a good arrest. That's why we have a presumption of innocence in our system of law. The police arrest, the prosecutor accuses, the court or a jury decides guilt or innocence. And the appellate courts are there to rectify injustices at the lower levels of the system.

      I have NEVER threatened any bodily harm on this blog. Please provide a quotation of what you claim is a bodily threat. I only use words in battling people. Obviously, if someone else were to initiate a physical attack, and I could not retreat, I would defend myself physically. I am NOT a man who turns the other cheek.

      I have NEVER been "pulled over" for drunken driving. You claim it is "well known" that I was so arrested. It is not.

      You know, it's easy to say anything you want to say. But backing it up is a different story. And you cannot back up anything you say about me in your Comment, because you are a LIAR. You bear false witness against me.

      You are one of the idiots I'd love to meet in person. Please call me on my cell, 860-759-9860, and we'll arrange a meeting. The problem though, is this: NO ONE has ever called. All of you who hide behind Mommy's skirts, anonymity here, are too chicken-shit to tell me what you say here, face-to-face. But maybe you'll be the sole exception. I sure hope so.

      All best,

      The Truth-Telling Man you can only dream of being

      Delete
  22. So you support Zimmerman who also did not back down from physical confrontation? I agree with you. Why do you want someone to call you? Isn't that why you have this whole Bobby blog on the first place, to communicate in a public forum? I will give you my number. You call me ok? I don't want to be the instigator of any physical violence as I am a pacifist Peace be with you. Find your self and reconcile with your wife. Vincent 8603247064. I hope to speak with you my child.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Vincent (April 13, 2012 at 5:59 a.m.),

      No, I do not support Zimmerman. I think the physical and other evidence will support a jury or Court finding that he cold-bloodedly tracked, hunted-down, and executed Trayvon Martin in cold blood.

      I will call you this afternoon, after lunch, and we can talk. I wish you no harm of any kind.

      What makes you think I need to "reconcile" with my wife? I've been married for 41 years to her and with her for 44 years total. What, really, do you know about my relationship with Susie, apart from some rather superficial facts I've shared on this blog? Nobody really knows very much at all about anybody else's marriage.

      All best,

      Bob

      Delete
    2. Dear Vincent (April 13, 2012 at 5:59 a.m.),

      I called you about a half-hour ago. I left you a voice mail message. You haven't called me back. I'm waiting......

      All best,

      The Man Not Afraid to Talk to YOU

      Delete
    3. Dear Vincent (or whoever you REALLY are) Anonymous (April 13, 2012 at 10:47 a.m.),

      I just got a return call from the real man who has that phone number you told me to call. He has never read a blog, is not named Vincent, and asked me to tell him what you said in your Comment.

      You are a lying, chicken-shit and you're TOTALLY AFRAID to meet with me, even call me, you wimp.

      All best,

      A Real Man

      Delete
  23. John Uccello's kids are a bunch of white trash dirtbags, so I'm not sure how he has the standing to call you out...

    ReplyDelete
  24. Dear Jim Shorts (April 13, 2012 at 8:49 a.m.),

    I have seen John and Sherry Uccello's two sons over the years, as they were growing up in the neighborhood, but I've never even spoken to either of them.

    Regardless of what his children are like, I have no respect for a man who needs to call the police during a discussion of matters of public controversy, as John Uccello did at Klekolo Coffee Shop. And I have even less respect for him because of the horrible things he's said here about my wife and my family.

    John Uccello is an ignorant, crude, racist "person," if person is a fair designation for such a morally-brain-dead individual.

    All best,

    Bob

    ReplyDelete
  25. Robert,
    You consistently claim that other men are jealous of you at the clubs and that is the reason why they ask for you to be removed, aka "thrown out."
    Would you please consider that perhaps--just perhaps--they aren't jealous at all but simply find you annoying and obnoxious.
    If one is sufficiently obnoxious to be around, one remedy is to ask the management to remove the obnoxious person. Really? It's ALWAYS due to jealousy? NEVER due to being found intolerably obnoxious by other patrons?
    You, of course, have a right to be obnoxious-I don't dispute that in the least. But in the cause of true honesty could you simply entertain the notion that you've become annoying and obnoxious. I know you don't give a flying fuck if people like you or not--but you can easily empathize (I think) with not wanting to hang out with people who piss you off, can't you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Excellent Questioning Anonymous (April 14, 2012 at 12:20 p.m.),

      Now THAT is an extremely good question you've asked. Answering you gives me an opportunity to make a few points, some of which I may not have made as clearly as I will now.

      First, my claims about what other men, and women, may feel about me is just a hypothesis. None of them actually have ever tried to talk with me and explain what they think about me. They may not really know what their true feelings are about me. A lot of what we perceive and feel about other people is unconscious. Few people have actually done a lot of self-reflection, for example in psycho-therapy, to truly examine themselves, their thought-process, their emotional make-up. So I don't KNOW what anyone feels about me, so I'm left to imagine what might be their motives for choosing to feel upset by my productions--verbal; behavioral; or all the other ways I present myself to the world.

      Second, I also hypothesize that some people choose to become upset about me because my way of living threatens the conventional social order. I am married but do not live with my wife. I dance among young and not-so-young women. I am white but go to a black church. My hair is long. I am no longer a straight-laced lawyer, trying to please other people in order to further my career. I make no money from my work as a writer, dancer, and comedian. One way for people to try to stop somebody like me from presenting an alternative model for life is to condemn me, belittle me, denigrate me. Try to stop me from doing what I'm doing. Unfortunately, I am financially and emotionally able to resist this social pressure. This, I suspect, further infuriates those for whom I threaten the existing social order. I am no Socrates, no Jesus, but, like them I threaten the accepted ways of living in society. And we know their fates. I do not plan to drink any hemlock, even if the mob wants me to, and I certainly will not voluntarily be crucified. Again, to be clear, for the benefit of those who choose to twist my words, bringing up Socrates and Jesus is only a way of analogically arguing my point. I am a minor, forgettable figure. I will be forgotten as soon as I die, although I plan to live for a long, long time, despite the expressed wish of a lot of haters that I die a premature death.

      Third, I agree that some people, but certainly not all, CHOOSE to label me "obnoxious" or "annoying." But those are not aspects of who I am, or even the only ways of interpreting my life, but instead are ways other people CHOOSE to see me, for their own purposes, with their own agendas. I have no interest in living my life in a way which pleases these people. I am a minor artist, but I AM an artist. I create. Others interpret. I care little about those interpretations, except to the extent that my goal at particular times is to entertain people, in which case I do adjust my behavior to take account of the reaction of the audience.

      Finally, of course I agree with your final point. If somebody doesn't want to be around me, they are free to leave. I won't let it bother me. But a lot of people, and I mean a LOT of people, like hanging around me.

      Remember: I'm not complaining. YOU are.

      Thanks for your thought-provoking question.

      All best,

      Bob

      Delete
    2. P.S.: One more observation. If my challenging the social order causes, or leads, a single person to question his or her own life choices and in the end CONSCIOUSLY decides to continue with the same balance between convention and freedom, I will have accomplished an important function. And, if a single person engages in the same process of self-examination and decides to change his or her life, even in minor ways which leads him or her to be happier with his or her adjustment, that's also a good thing.

      Delete
    3. Bob- you are an obnoxious arrogant annoying fool. Spin it however you'd like. You're going to end up getting beaten to death or shot by someone at a one of your clubs. I'm not wishing this upon you, only stating the obvious...sooner or later you are going to piss off the wrong guy. And when that happens they will peal what's left of your body off the pavement and throw it into the Connecticut River.

      Delete
    4. Dear "Person" who Wishes Me Dead Anonymous (April 16, 2012 at 6:39 a.m.),

      I rather suspect I know who you are. I think you've given up saying things to and about me directly on Facebook, and you haven't been happy with my challenges of what you say, so you're now letting your real feelings out of the bag, from a very dark and warped part of your being.

      Hey, you're entitled to view me anyway you want. I don't care. It won't affect my behavior.

      Now it's not at all obvious that someone is going to beat me or shoot me to death--unless, however, that is something you're planning.

      I don't "piss" off anybody. I am an artist. A minor one, perhaps, but an artist nonetheless. I act. I write. I dance. I do stand-up comedy. It is up to others to judge my performances, my art. If they CHOOSE, consciously or unconsciously, to feel angry or "pissed off," that is not something I control. They do. Just like YOU decide to have murderous fantasies towards me. I didn't "force" you to have those ideas in your warped head.

      Finally, if you or anyone else were to murder me, my family would get the body once it's fished out of the river, as your fantasy goes, and return it to my family. The police would then commence and investigation, track the murderer down, and arrest the murderer. The prosecutor, a man or woman with MY kind of education, my way of thinking about the world, that is, an intelligent way, would then prosecute the case. And judges, also like me, would oversee the prosecution and any appeals. And then the murder would, hopefully, go to state's prison for the rest of his or her natural life.

      Dream on, son.

      All best,

      Your Better, and the one I KNOW you ADMIRE and ENVY, terribly

      Delete
  26. Robert,
    I have read a lot of your posts and writings and honestly I am no fan of yours. I have many opinions which Im sure dont matter to you. And that is fine with me. But as I read this stuff and try to follow you logic I am left with many questions which I cant seem to figure. Hell, maybe you dont even know the answers. I know how youre living "free" now and not tied down to any deadlines or payroll, any wives, or friends. You basically do what you want when you want. And thats your right. My question is was there something specific that made you so drastically change your lifestyle all of a sudden? I know a lot of times you talk about how youre glad youre not a lawyer anymore and dont have to do that type of work. But you did it for 30+ years so you must have enjoyed it during that time. You seem to love to argue and debate with people, and what better profession to have then to be a lawyer. And I get the sense you still do enjoy that because youre very much into getting yourself out of trouble in New Haven court, suing the towing company, and threatening many class action lawsuits and etc.... Is there a particular reason you changed jobs/lifestyles so drastically when it seems that you really didnt hate your life before?

    ReplyDelete
  27. Dear Excellent Questioning Anonymous (April 14, 2012 at 3:23 p.m.),

    Great question. I DID enjoy being an actively-practicing lawyer for 36 years, for the most part. I LOVE the law, arguing, going to court. As you correctly point out, I continue to argue with people I disagree with, I defend myself in court, and I consider taking legal action where appropriate. I also give a lot of free legal advice to people who otherwise would be taken advantage of by their opponents and other lawyers.

    But I grew to hate the business side of running a law firm. My partners and I had to constantly focus on making the next payroll, marketing ourselves, and going to meetings. I grew weary of those aspects of the business of the law.

    I hated doing the paperwork involved in handling legal cases. I loved devising legal theories to solve my clients' problems, that is, the thinking side of legal work.

    After 36 years, much of what I did became repetitious and boring. I began to hate going into the office. I missed some of my colleagues who left the firm to do other things or join other practices.

    My children were adults, I'd saved enough money to not have to work again if Susie and I lived somewhat more frugally than we had when I was a lawyer, and I wanted new experiences and new outlets for my creative energies.

    I have a wife, not wives, and some of my old friends are still my friends. It is hard to be friends with people who want to control me. I try to control no one who is not trying to hurt me in some way. It's been easy to separate the true from the superficial old friends.

    I'm not surprised you're not a "fan" of mine. I'm not trying to be adored by you or anyone else. I do what I like to do and if you or anyone else is interested, I'm happy for the attention. I love to perform. There seem to be plenty of people who like my performances, from my blog to my dancing to my stand-up comedy. And some who do not.

    It is liberating not to have to worry about my every move and what people are going to think about my every move, now that I don't need new legal business to make a living. I prefer the life of an artist, albeit a minor one, to that of a working professional.

    I'm interested in your opinions, and anybody else's, but a lot of the Commenters on the blog, or on Facebook, seem to stem from a position of self-righteousness, envy and jealousy, or a wish to apply social pressure on me to get me to conform to somebody else's notion of appropriate behavior. Those Comments I simply ignore.

    I hope that helps you understand me better. If not, please Comment again.

    All best,

    Bob

    ReplyDelete
  28. Robert Doucher,
    Hope your Eastern Orthodox Easter was great at First And Last Tavern. I saw you. Nice place. Anyways I noticed you almost always seen to be mocking hip hop culture in your photos. The usage of gang signs, the posturing, and also being along side Africans too makes you look comical. Is this while rejection of friends and family a living satire performance? I've also been kicked out and banned from Mezzo Grill. In my case it was due to a fight. They are very hard there. Fight the good fight. Drake

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Confused Anonymous (April 16, 2012 at 4:05 a.m.),

      I think I may have stopped in a First and Last on Easter before going out for dinner at another place, out-of-town.

      I don't mock hip-hop culture. I love it and emulate it in those wonderful gestures.

      I'm very pleased you find my performances comical. I AM, after all, now a comedian. Thanks for paying attention to me. A performer always LOVES an attentive audience.

      I haven't rejected my family and friends. What leads you to make that incorrect inference?

      Sorry you've been banned from Mezzo. At least, if you're a young Goddess the manager won't try to get you to remove your blouse and show him your breasts up in his private office. Someone in a position to know that that has happened before so informed me. I have no personal knowledge of that, but it would not in the least surprise me.

      Thanks for your support in fighting the good fight, Sir Francis Drake.

      All best,

      Bob, your Fellow Mezzo Exile

      Delete
  29. What do you think about new revelations of the Trayven Margart allegory? Pretty damning new evidence that he in fact was involved with a gang and had been apprehended for attempted buggery.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Rush-to-Judgment on Irrelevancies Anonymous (April 16, 2012 at 4:39 a.m.),

      Even if what you say, libelously, about Trayvon Martin were true, it is irrelevant to the murder case against George Zimmerman. None of those claims, even if they were true, would be admissible in the murder case. Zimmerman did not know anything about Trayvon before he executed Trayvon. Therefore, such "character" evidence, even if it were true, would not justify Zimmerman's decision to hunt down and executed Trayvon.

      The best evidence of what really happened will be supplied, I expect, by the forensic, scientific, objective evidence. Injuries, if any, to Zimmerman, and to the body of Trayvon. That sort of thing. That kind of evidence will be more reliable than eyewitness evidence by Zimmerman or the other witnesses. It usually is in murder cases.

      So, I'm sorry: none of that stuff, even if it were true, would be "damning" to Trayvon in the murder case.

      All best,

      A Legally Sophisticated Evaluator of the Murder Case

      Delete
  30. Brob,
    That was me you called! Fool! I wanted to see how gullible you were You call yourself a litigation paralegal? I stone walked your back to the mat. Bravo dear clam. Bravo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Hiding in the Shadows of Anonymity Anonymous (April 16, 2012 at 5:05 a.m.),

      I'm not gullible. You didn't stonewall me.

      Unless you identify yourself and meet with me, I WIN.

      Checkmate, little boy.

      All best,

      Your Big Powerful Daddy Figure--the one you FEAR

      Delete
  31. Replies
    1. Dear Dumb Utter Idiot (April 16, 2012 at 12:19 p.m.),

      Since you've given your initials, DUI, Dumb Utter Idiot, you're one of the few people with Big Cohones who's willing to stand up for the courage of your convictions. Also, you're wise to follow the advice of Charles Baudelaire, the great but drunk French Romantic poet: Be Always Drunken.

      All best,

      Your Sober Best Friend

      Delete
  32. Dear Bob- I just want to warn you that I have already called the police and informed them there will likely be a situation at the Buttonwood Tree tonight. I gave them your name and description however they already know who you are. Anyway, just wanted to give you a heads up. If you act out of line you will be thrown out and the police are on notice to shoot to kill.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Cassandra Anonymous (April 16, 2012 at 1:20 p.m.),

      Okay, but there was no need for you to act in such a caring way. I've already been contacted by the police department. As soon as the shooting begins, by you or your seconds, the police are going to take me into protective custody and keep me at Connecticut Valley Hospital until you have run out of bullets.

      All best,

      The Un-Bowed One

      Delete
    2. Hey, Cassandra Baby,

      No situation tonight at The Buttonwood Tree, just a real good comedy act by me if I may say so myself. The audience sure applauded.

      What happened, sistah'? You're not losing your touch for prophecy, are you?

      Thanks for the warning, though. Wow, it really SCARED me (or not).

      All best,

      The Not Scaredy-Cat Guy

      Delete
  33. Jamerson Nova O'ryan ‏ @J_Wall_3000 Reply Retweet Favorite · Open
    Robert Dutcher can hold my pierced dick.... I swear I'm gonna run him over!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Hold Your Own Dick Anonymous (April 17, 2012 at 1:59 p.m.),

      Whatever.

      Why don't you call me and we'll get together so you can tell me what you want to tell me face-to-face, man-to-man?

      Given the fact you were phony and lied to me in your statements, your requests that I help you in your time of need (you know what I'm talking about), and in your demeanor towards me over many months of dancing at Titanium, why should your present "swearing" mean any more than your earlier lies?

      Okay, you know how to reach me if you want to talk.

      All best,

      A Man Whose Friendly Feeling Towards You You Have NO Power to Destroy

      Delete
    2. A Note of Clarification:

      I asked Jamerson Nova O'Ryan, whom I still consider my friend, even if his present angry and hostile feelings towards me are unfriendly in nature, if he was the person who posted the above Comment in the nature of a forwarded Tweet. He wrote me this morning on my Facebook message page that it was NOT he who sent it, that his Tweet account had been hacked. I accept his denial and explanation. I also reached out to him to try to find out what the deeper source of his hostility towards me may be.

      As I've told him here and in my messages to him, his expressions of hostility towards me do not in any way effect or destroy my friendly feeling towards him. I will always be there for him whenever he needs me, if he ever needs my assistance.

      All best,

      Bob

      Delete