You all have read articles about that religious "nut," Harold Camping, who claimed that The Rapture would occur on May 21, 2011. And then The Rapture didn't happen, so Camping declared the May, 2011 Rapture was only a "spiritual" Rapture, and the "real, phyical" Rapture, the coming of the new Kingdom of Heaven, would take place on October 21, 2011.
Well, dear readers, I have WONDERFUL news to share. The Rapture has occurred. It took place last night, August 19, 2011, at Jazz on the River in Middletown, Connecticut. Of all places!
So every Thursday in summer, from 6 to 10 p.m., the Canoe Club on the Connecticut River in Middletown has free live jazz, always with a female singer. Last night, Lyn from the Cape Verde Islands, her drummer husband Vincent, and a pianist and electronic bass player performed at the Canoe Club. Actually, Lyn was delayed and didn't get there until 7:30 p.m., but, from then until 10, believe me, I swear to you, The Rapture DID occur. The physical Rapture, the transportation of the body, in a kind of bodily Resurrection, directly into The Kingdom of Heaven, took place, and I was fortunate to me among the en-Raptured Elect.
After moving around the very large outdoor bar area at the Canoe Club, greeting old friends and meeting new ones, I saw two very attractive young ladies sitting at a long rectangular glass-topped, metal-framed table, right in front of a large glass window which looks into the inside of the downstairs bar of the club. One, a "pink" lady named Michelle, of Greek-American heritage, and the other, Ericka, of African-American background, were receptive to my introduction of myself as a retired trial lawyer whose wife of 42 years understands that "a guy's just gotta' have his fun," so she lets me go out dancing with all kinds of strange women, young, old, and in-between, all shades and colors of skin, at the Canoe Club and at the Mezzo Grille patio bar and upstairs New York-style disco. Susie (my wife and the love of my life) also wouldn't be caught dead with me in one of these dancing/fast talking venues I love so much, because she's a VERY classy, reserved, lady, and I get, in her view, and the view of some of my old friends, a bit, shall we say, over-the-top in these scenes.
So anyway, it turns out that Ericka and Michelle are real estate agents with a very good, very beautiful long-time friend of Susie and me. Jacqueline Williams, known to everybody as, simply, Jackie. Though Jackie's no ordinary woman. She founded and runs Sterling Realtors, the most successful and prominent real estate agency in Middlesex County. Susie and I have known Jackie and her husband, John, since 1975, when we first returned to Middletown from law school in D.C. at Georgetown. If you ever need to sell a house, have an appraisal done, rent an apartment, or anything else involving real estate, here's the Sterling Realtors website: http://www.sterling-realtors.com/
And Ericka filled me in on the fact that a number of Sterling agents, including Jackie herself, were on their way to the Canoe Club to get a bite to eat and listen to Jackie's cousin, Lyn, the singer for the eveing, sing her jazz heart out. Shortly, they all descended, as if in bodily resurrection, from the sky, and landed right in front of me, at the glass-topped table, outside the inside bar room, at the Canoe Club, right here in Middletown, Connecticut.
To cut to the chase, here's who did me the honor of accompanying me last night in the Dance Party in The Kingdom of Heaven: Michelle, Ericka, Sue, Ellen, Jackie, David--all Sterling Realtors--and Jackie's sister, who looks just like Diana Roth, and the woman I call "Unique" Monique, who by day, outside The Rapture, is a hair dresser/therapist (aren't all hair dressers, and bartenders, psycho-therapists?) and has a natural proclivity for, and the personality and "mouth" (like yours truly) of, a trial lawyer.
Anyway, Monique, in her eye-catching bright red blouse, big earrings, and blue and pearl-colored round mother-of-pearl-looking material necklace, and big, friendly, happy smile, was the first to join me on the dance floor. Eventually, they all came out and danced with themselves and this ole' grandude, yours truly, your faithful correspondent. Even Jackie was finally able to pull herself away from whatever real estate deals she was working on on her I-phone when I got Lyn and the band to due a body-can't-help-dancin' song called "Fam-il-ee" ("Family. We-are-fam-i-lee......). I don't often get the opportunity to show my dancin' stuff with six very attractive women, with a range of age of several decades (won't even try to guess who's what), on a warm summer evening on a lovely patio bar overlooking the prettiest gentle bend in the most beautiful river in the world, the Connecticut River, at Middletown, Connecticut.
But last night, as I said at the beginning of this blog post, The Rapture, The Physical Rapture, took place. Down by the river. With those six women and all the men I also met and hung out with last night, and the bartender, Jillian (Jill), who looks like a younger, non-plastic version of Angelina Jolie, and who is, unfortunately, moving to Los Angeles in a few weeks. Like Brad Pitt's wife, Angelina has dark hair, big beautiful blue eyes, a very bright smile, with one upper front tooth slightly overlapping the other, the way mine does because I failed to wear my orthodontic retainer long enough to firmly lodge the newly-braced teeth in place. In Jill's case, that little overlap is, the way I see it, a beauty mark, in the same way that mole on Marilyn Monroe's face only enhanced her natural beauty. Angelina Jolie has, I believe, artificially puffed up lips, probably Botox-enhanced, while Jill has none of that, but so much more PZAZZ! We'll miss you, Jill, in the Middletown Rapture-times, but I wish you Godspeed to L.A., where I know you'll find many Rapture moments in the rest of your many years here on earth.
The Rapture occurred last night. It's happening every day, every night. You don't have to wait for October 21, 2011 like Harold Camping predicted. The Rapture happens every day. Every day God lets you wake up in the morning, feeling good to be ALIVE.
[Editor's note: For more information on the traditional, non-Bob's blog, meaning of "The Rapture," see the following link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapture ]