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Friday, November 18, 2011

Update on Bob--What I've been up to the past month or so (and 8 Dance Club pictures at the end of the blog)

Finally the Big Move has been accomplished and Susie's now in the new house at Bartlett Hollow.  I'm staying in the old house on Chimney Hill until we sell it.  It's always good to have a caretaker in an empty home.

By popular demand, I'm writing today about what's been happening in my life these past few weeks.  Although I'm technically retired, I've made my life busier than ever, and a heckuva lot more fun than when I was practicing law and making 26 bi-weekly payrolls every year.


I've finally made my decision known that I want to join Zion First Black Baptist Church.  I've  been going to services and participating in the life of Zion since early July of this year.  Many parishoners had thought I'd already joined the church, but I haven't.  I was waiting for a propitious moment to make a public statement of my wish to become a full member.  And that moment was last Sunday.  Rev. Giles' home church, the black baptist church of Bridghampton, Lone Island visited Zion last Sunday, which was our Mens' Day.  The men of our church were responsible for the worship service.  I've been attending the monthly meetings of the mens' group at Zion and participated in planning for Mens' Sunday.

Last Sunday morning, the church was packed to overflowing.  The east half of the church was Zion members, with the first two pews occupied by the men of Zion, including yours truly.  The west half of the church was mostly the Bridghampton congregation, but some of our women sat in the first few pews.  The Bridghampton mens' spirit choir sat in our choir loft, next between the piano on the west and the organ, guitarists, and drum set on the east.  Their mens' choir members all dressed in black suits and bright gold ties.  Two of their singers were classic doo-wop style singers, one a bass and the other a high barritone.  I've been listening to a lot of old doo-wop from the 40's, 50's, and 60's on my I-pod, mostly in my car, and these men were classic doo-wop singers.  The only difference was, their music was spiritual doo-wop, not the secular stuff we're all familiar with from our teenage years (The Spaniels; The Velvetones; and other similarly colorful names).

Rev. Frank Bryant, the Bridghampton minister, is a light-skinned man in his late 60's.  He has a doctorate in theology.  One of his parents was white, the other black.  He's married to a very lovely black woman who was, like all the women in black services, including ours at Zion, very stylishly dressed.  They have 7 grown, successful children.

Rev. Bryant gave a humdinger of a performance in the pulpit.  He preached, he sang, he stomped, he danced, he spun during the sermon.  By the end of it, he was fairly sweaty and a woman dressed in what amounted to a nurse's white dress and hat had rolled a white towel up and draped it around his neck.  This left the preacher looking like he had just won a heavyweight bout.

During the service, a man in his late 30's was suddenly moved by the Spirit to get out of his pew, dance to the front of the congregation, ask for a microphone, and deliver a kind of homily about how he's been diagnosed with dementia but the Lord healed him.  He stomped and danced in a circle up in front of the pulpit.  A woman in the front left (west) pew, from Zion, became overcome with emotion, praising God and Jesus for their divine power.  The women of Zion rallied around her with fans, the ones with photos on the back of Dr. King and President Obama, to try to cool her off and bring her down emotionally.

The Zion liturgy includes a moment when anyone moved to declare his or her committment to Jesus and wish to join the church is invited to come forward to make this known to the congregation.  And Sunday was my time to do this, so I moved forward stood on the right side of Deacon Bob Bailey, who was standing next to Deacon Curtis Cockfield.  I felt humbled and bowed my head.  Bob put his arm around my shoulders and listened as our minister, Rev. Giles, asked Deacon Bailey what was the pleasure of the congregation about my wish to join the church.  He also informed the congreagation, mainly for the benefit of the Bridghampton visitors, that I'd been coming to Zion for a few months.  Deacon Bailey then announced that Zion welcomed me to become a member and, with that, Rev. Giles said that Minister Toler would be in touch with me after the service to arrange to meet with me for instruction in the ways of the baptist church.  Rev. Giles also said he saw no reason why I couldn't be ready to be baptized by full immersion in the church in early December.

After the service there was a big meal in the parish hall, below the sanctuary, planned and implemented by the Zion mens' ministry.  Being part of the mens' group, I removed my double-breasted dark suit jacket and re tie and stood in the serving line to dish out the ribs and the chicken, beef and pork ribs and baked chicken.  The church service had started at 11 a.m., finished at 1:30 p.m., and the dinner was over by 3:30 p.m.  A long but very satifsfying and spiritually-rich day.


I love opera but don't like paying the Met ticket prices, parking, meals, and driving costs to and from NYC, just to sit in the last row of Orchestra and watch the action through binoculars and switch between binoculars and subtitles on the back of the cramped seat in front of me.  So upon the recommendation of my sister Carol and bro-in-law William I go to some of the Live at the Met HD performances at theaters in Manchester or North Haven.

Back in October, I saw a wonderful production of "Don Giovanni" with our dear friends, Sandra and Donald Oliver-Olsen, at the North Haven cinema.  DG was the first full opera I ever saw, years ago at the Met in NYC with Sandra.  I loved it then, at the City Opera at Lincoln Center, and I still love the story of two kinds of romantic love.  One of the males loves his woman with the kind of all-enveloping, fully-merged dependency in which there is no distinction between self and love object.  The other type is embodied in the character of Don Juan, who is so afraid of total merger with the beloved (and feared) love object that he can't really love any one woman and has to "love 'em and leave 'em."  This tableau plays itself out in a series of scenes of emotional turbluence, but above it all is the glorious music of Mozart.  This miraculous score makes me think of God, as a steady presence, a kind of basso continuo, which floats above the sturm and drang of earthly human existence, in all its turbulence, drama, and, what else is there to call it but, OPERA.

Somewhere between the polarities of dependent love and independent love is a happy medium.  Adult love.  The love of a man, or woman, for the lover, which is not the love of a child for the parent, or the love of a lothario for the woman he uses for his own pleasure, but the mature love which knows its limits, its blessings, its insufficiencies.

During the intermission, Renee Fleming interviewed the stars of the production.  In her talk with the star, Don Juan, the singer offers the insight that Don Juan's mania for lots and lots of women is born of depression.  I found that most insightful.  As I reflected on the story of the opera, it begins with the Don stabbing his new lover's father, the Commandantore, and fleeing the castle.  This led me to the thought that perhaps Don Juan is the story of everyman's Oedpial struggle--horror at his wish to kill his father and be the exclusive love object of his mother.  But this leads to another fear--the fear (and wish) to perhaps even sleep with his mother.  To avoid that fate, Don Juan romances and sleeps with thousands of women,  long enough to get physical pleasure but not long enough to get enveloped and, he fears, smothered by any one of them.

The Young Picasso exhibit at The Frick Museum in NYC

Last month I took the train to NYC to spend the day with my friend Nelson Horn.  Nelson now lives in Surf City, USA, Huntington Beach, Orange County, California but his daughter lives in NYC and his son in Boston.  So Nelson invited me to spend the say with him in the City.  We went to the Frick Museum on 5th Avenue to see the exhibit of Picasso's work from the age of 9 on.  It was extraordinary to observe the visual evidence of the developmen of an artistic genius.  At age 9, Picasso drew a sketch in pencil of his left hand.  At 10 he sketched a torso of an ancient sculpture.  It was clear that he had a complete grasp of three-dimensionality from a very young age.  He did have the advantage in life that his biological father was an art teacher.  I'm certainly no Picasso, but I did identify with seeing the extant evidence of a developing talent.  This resonated with my own process of forming a new personality in the world.

I also took the opportunity to speak French with some art tourists from Paris.  And I did a bit of spontaneous stand-up comedy with a few groups of Dutch art students who were visiting the Frick as part of a trip to the U.S. with their art class,  as well as with an older woman who happened to be from the Netherlands but I had a hard time guessing her nationality.

African drumming concert

Last Friday night, before I went dancing at the local dance clubs, I attended a free concert of the Wesleyan African drumming and dancing class taught by the Ghanian drumming and dancing guru, Abraham Adinijah.  It was a free concert at Crowell Concert Hall.  The concert lasted an hour and a half.  During the first number I sat in my seat, right in front of Jeff Hush and Lucia DeLeon (my friends from Wesleyan--Jeff--and Mexico City--Lucy) and the Indonesian pianist and composer, Gayathri and her English fiancee, Darren.  I moved to the music in my seat but refused to contain my wish to dance after the first song, so I got up and danced on the sidelines.  At first I danced in the ramp leading from the area beneath the foyer of the concert hall so only the performers on stage could see me.  But eventually a school newspaper photographer from Vietnam, a freshman, was dancing hip-hop style right next to me, so I came out of the ramp and just danced for the rest of the performance.  When it was obvious they'd gotten to the last number, I sat down in my seat, all sweaty now, and watched as many people who'd been sitting quietly in the seats finally caught the spirit of the dance and went up on stage to dance for the final song.

Afterwards I went home for a snack and then down to the local dance clubs to dance away the night until closing time at 2 a.m. since it was a Friday night.  The clubs close in Middletown at 1 a.m. on Thursdays.  Friday and Saturday are 2 a.m. closings.

Wesleyan Homecoming Weekend

Homecoming was a blast this year.  My good friend from Class of '71, Leo Au, and his wife, Melina, came up from their winter home in Florida for the weekend.  Susie and I got together with them for coffee at Javapalooza on Main Street on Saturday morning.  Then we all looked at the old house and our new home.  Leo and Melina liked the efficient, clean design and the "green" aspects of the construction.

Then we attended the reception for alumni who contribute regularly to the Wesleyan Annual Fund, at the new Usdan Student Center.  Following that we watched the football game between Wesleyan and Williams, which Wesleyan won.  During intermission we attended a party for alumni volunteers, which Leo was invited to and in turn he invited Susie and me to go with Melina and him over on Mount Vernon Street, within walking distance of the football field, which lies between Olin Library and the Usdan Center.

I then went by myself onto the grassy area outside the Usdan Center where members of the other Wesleyan sports teams were selling teeshirts and other merchandise for fundraising.  I did some ad lib stand-up with these young people about whatever came to mind as I talked with them.  The guys on the baseball team got a real kick out of the dancing I do at the clubs in town, at the black classic football game "happening" at Giants Stadium I've written about on "Bobs blog," and what it was like to go to Wesleyan when it was, in effect, and all-male monastic institution.

On Monday, I attended a lecture/discussion in Professor Bill Johnston's East Asian History class about the decsion to drop the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I had never seen the formerly classified Top Secret memoranda among the WWII nuclear bomb decisionmakers. I had always assumed, rightly, that little thought was given to whether this was a necessary and "good" tactical decision.  Americans assume, without studying the issue, that America "had" to drop the bombs to end the war and save "American" lives.  The Japanese were already "suing" for peace in talks with the Russians.  It the American demand for total and unconditional surrender which the Japanese balked at doing, which prevented the war from ending without unleashing that nuclear holacaust.

My defense of the criminal trespass infraction charge in New Haven with respect to the KKK (Koji Komedy Klub)

My trial on the trespass charge (reduced unilaterally by the prosecutor to an non-criminal infraction charge of simple trespass during my first court appearance on October 28, 2011) is still set for Tuesday, November 29, 2011 in New Haven.  I had to make several phone calls and faxes, and an appearance at the courthouse, to finally get the prosecutor to give me the police report on my arrest.  Although I will not publish the police report on "Bobs blog" until after the trial, nor write about my trial defense strategy, suffice it to say I am NOT GUILTY as charged and expect (and hope) for full vindication at trial.  I have other legal avenues I am considering about this whole case, which I carefully have researched at our local library in the Middlesex County Courthouse Library.  But I will not write about any of that, either, until after the trial.

If you wish to watch the trial, please feel free to go to Courtroom E on the third floor of the New Haven Courthouse, 121 Elm Street, New Haven, on Tuesday, November 29, 2011 at 2 p.m.  Although the worst penalty I face if I am convicted (and if I then were to choose not to appeal) is $99 (ninety-nine dollars).

Meditation with

Susie and my dear friend, Lyn Shaw, invited us to go with her to the three-times-weekly silent mediation group at Starr Mill on Beverly Heights in Middletown.  Susie declined, as the idea of total silence for an hour is not her idea of a good time, but I quickly accepted, despite the fact I love to talk and have an audience.  Believe it or not, I also like silence.

The meditation group meets in the Starr Mill, an old brick industrial building on the banks of the Coginchaug River, right next to a dam which used to furnish hydroelectric power to whatever were the business establishments then located in the mill.  The Vinci Family of Middletown has owned the building for years and now leases to a photographer, a high-end book publisher, a hair salon, and a yoga studio.

Bob Vinci is in his mid-seventies and is also known as The Meditaion Man, hence his web address.  He's been interested in mediation and Bhuddism for many years.  In the meditation room, on the ground floor, a window is left open a crack to let in the soothing sound of the continuously-flowing dam.  Bob provides bottled water and, now, Halloween candy, to anyone who wants them.

The hour goes quickly when your eyes are closed and you're focusing on your breathing and your innner world of fantasy, memory, and tranquility or un-tranquiltity if that is your presnet dominant emotion.  At the end of one hour, precisely, Gary gets up and softly hits a gong three times to let everyone know the hour-point has been reached.  Then there is time to come back to the here-and-now and engage in a bit of small talk with the other meditators.


Life is good.  I continue to enjoy retirement thoroughly.  I dance in the clubs four nights a week.  Below are a few photos I've recently come across from the clubs.  It's great exercise and a lot fun.

Hope you're all enjoying your lives.

All best,

Bob Dutcher

Miscellaneous Dancing Pictures


  1. Enjoy your mania while it lasts... your crash is going to be a big one.

  2. Dear Anonymous,
    Thanks for your Comment. I'm happy you read "Bobs blog." I'd be most interested to talk with you on the phone or meet you in person to hear your thoughts about my existential condition. If you'd like to get together or just talk, it's really easy to contact me.
    The stories you and I tell about my life, and my future, do not coincide. Only time will tell which story accords more with reality. That's the risk, and the fun, of living life to the fullest, in whatever way you, and I, choose. I've chosen my path, and you yours. I wish you Godspeed on your journey.
    Your prognostication about my future reminds me of something which fascinates me. In the more than three decades I was a successful lawyer, at least in a worldly sense, no one ever, and I mean ever, suggested the way I was living my life would one day lead me to decide, unconsciously, to become seriously depressed. When I used to tell people I'd work as a lawyer until I was 90, no one ever expressed surprise about that prediction. But now that I'm leading an entirely unconventional life, you are not the only person to predict a future of gloom and doom for me. I wonder if you've ever given thought to why that might be the case. Why do people have such confidence in the psychological and spiritual value of conventional careers and lifestyles, and so little in unconventional life directions? I have my own ideas about this but I'm also interested in those of people, like you, who have such confidence that I have chosen a path which will have a tragic ending. Your, and their, certainty reminds me of the lack of doubt which was exhibited in the character of Sister Alyoysius in John Patrick Shanley's Pulitzer Prize-winning play "Doubt." In the preface to the script, Shanley writes of the value of being in a condition of doubt. When you're in doubt, you're ready to grow, he says. Is the converse also true, that when you're certain, you're in a condition of stagnation? I don't claim to know The Answer to this conundrum, but your Comment crystalizes it for me.
    Thanks for taking time to read my story and share your conclusion with me, although a fuller explication of the basis for your prediction would be most interesting to me. It would certainly tell me a lot about you.

    All best wishes,

    Bob Dutcher

  3. Live your life to the fullest extent of your understanding of it. We all change and grow and try new things whether we admit it or not, and you are living your dream, not anyone elses. Just live man!

  4. Dear Mark,
    Thank you very much for your supportive and encouraging comment. I try hard when other readers, like Anonymous, attempt to stigmatize my lifestyle by calling me "manic," to respond with calm reason rather than angry emotion. That is especially so when the Comment includes a kind of angry warning that I have chosen a course which will lead to my "crashing" emotionally. Although Anonymous does not explicitly predict that I will "crash" into a state of depression, that is the clear implication. If Anonymous truly cared about my future, he or she would contact me, try to meet with, or at least talk with, me to find out more about me. If, after such contact and discussion, Anonymous convinced me that I should change course or I would again become depressed, I would act on that conviction. But the reality is, I am convinced, to the contrary, that I have made the necessary changes in the emotional foundation of my life to avoid a repeat of the suicidal depression I unconsciously put myself into from September through December of 2010. I say "put myself into" because I believe that, at least in my case, my depression was a decision I made, unconscious thought it was, to stop myself in my tracks, take stock of my life, and decide to change it, radically.
    Another way of interpreting the Comment by Anonymous is this. He or she correctly observes that I'm having a blast in life, lots of fun, and new experiences which no amount of money could buy. He or she is not having that much fun in his or her life, is stuck in an emotional rut, and has a hard time accepting the fact that change is within his or her grasp but he or she cannot motivate himself or herself to make the changes and may not even be aware what those changes would be which would lead to greater satisfaction for him or her.
    That recognition produces an inner tension in Anonymous, so this interpretation goes, and one way to relieve the tension is to imagine he or she can "condemn" me as "manic" and hope that my radically altered lifestyle leads, ultimately, to deep unhappiness. If such a "crash" occurred in my life, then Anonymous imagines he or she could say to himself or herself, "Well, there's no reason to radically change my own life, because look where that leads!"
    This interpretation is based mostly on speculation because I know nothing about Anonymous's life situation, emotional balance, self-knowledge, intelligence, psychological history, or any of the myriad of little details, each in itself perhaps seemingly insignificant, which would enable me to tell a story about Anonymous specifically tailored to his or her existential condition.
    I am morally offended by what appears to be Anonymous's stigmatization of mental "illness." If I had gotten terminal cancer of the brain in September 2010, as a result of which I radically changed my life in the ways I have, assuming, for example, I had also received a prognosis that I would only live until the end of 2011, would Anonymous feel the same way about my situation? Perhaps, but I suspect, probably not. 'nuff said?
    Whoever you are, Mark, you and I could be true friends.
    Thank you, and may you find the greatest peace and satisfaction in life.

    All best wishes,

    Bob Dutcher

  5. God bless. What a ride. I am unable in words to express how I feeel for the two of you and your journey. But I do know that God has a plan for each of us. And the best thing to do is just let God run your life. I know that when I try to run my life, I get in trouble every time. One side note about Opera. Check out " The Kate's" list of HD broadcasts. Seems like an easier trip just down RT9. I have heard great reviews from people you go.
    B. Jerome

  6. Dear Bob,
    It's great to hear from you. Thanks for reading "Bobs blog" and taking time to post a Comment.
    As for The Kate, I haven't been there but hear it is not banked seating, so if you're not sitting close to the screen for Live at the Met HD Opera, it may be hard to have a view unobstructed by a head in front of you.
    I agree that God has to be the center of my life and I am trying to make Him such. I love the black baptist church I'm going to and find it spiritually richer than the white congregational church where Susie and I met Judy and you many years ago.
    Keep in touch by Facebook or otherwise. We're easy to reach.

    All best wishes,

    Bob Dutcher

  7. You are hurting yourself and your family by posting these incredibly pathetic and manic postings. You keep advertising your facebook page, and yet I see that no one in your immediate family is your friend. Your family, who need you to be a father and not a narcissistic brat who does not realize that everyone is laughing at you. Grow up. I don't care how many years you worked or how many payrolls you put up or any other bullshit. Grow the fuck up and help your wife and kids out and stop putting on a freakshow for anyone who will gawk for a few moments.

  8. Maybe you should get to know Bob, before you jugde him. I have met him a few times and can only say that he is living his life the way that makes him happy. No one else should critisize his actions without looking at ones self and making sure that they are leading a perfect life, because as far as I know, no one is perfect so put a cork in it you asshole. Bob you are truely an inspiration and when I am retired and have no worries I would love to be as free spirited as you are. As to those who appose to how you live your life, they don't matter because it's "your" life not theres. Your the man Bob.....BOOM

  9. Dear Anonymous (who posted on November 22, 2011 at 3:39 p.m.),
    Thanks for reading "Bobs blog" and taking the time to post a Comment.
    Your calling me a "narcissistic brat" leads me to think you may have posted a Comment once before, in which the same appellation was applied to me by a commenter calling himself or herself "Anonymous." You tell me to "grow up," but I ask you, how grown up is it for you to call another person names rather than attempt to engage me in discussion? I have no problem with your acting in the way you are, but do wonder if you've ever reflected in that way on your own behavior, which seems inconsistent with you actions. I don't know you, so I don't know if such contradictions within yourself bother you when called to your attention.
    Your anger is palpable. I feel compassion for you and hope that whatever you are angry about is not something you choose to feel excessively angry about because anger, in large doses, over long periods, is harmful to your heart. There is lots of scientific research about the relationship between anger and adverse physiological effects on the human body. Happiness tends to produce a longer, more fulfilling life. And I dance, write my blog, look for the comedy in life, and don't work as a lawyer making payrolls, all in order to find more happiness, and less anger, in life.
    As for "Bobs blog," I began writing it because John Hall, my old friend and former minister at the white church I used to attend, suggested I start a blog. On a trip to the west coast and Colorado in June and early July of this year, I was writing about my adventures in emails to friends and family. John correctly suggested that some email recipients might not want to get emails from me on a regular basis. He also recognized I love to write and that he and some other people enjoyed reading about what I'm doing in retirement from the law and a conventional existence. So he said, why don't I do a blog and then whoever wants to read it can do so, but whoever doesn't, needn't. Sounded like a great way to communicate with a large number of people who might be interested in the changes I was making in my life without imposing on anybody. And it's also been a great discipline for a budding writer, to write regularly.
    Some of my readers find my writing interesting or amusing, and some, like you, use it as the occasion to feel anger. If what you read and see on my blog is something you choose to see as objectionable, you don't have to read it. Just flip the channel and watch or read whatever does interest you. It would actually help me to understand you if you told me a little bit more about yourself. I'd be interested in talking with you on the phone or meeting your for coffee to get to know you better. That way, I'd be better able to refine the story I'm already telling myself about you. It's an interesting story, but one not yet grounded in much fact because I don't know who you are. In that you have a slight advantage over me, because I'm very open with the world about who I am, where I've come from, and where I think I'm going. That doesn't make me better than you, just more open about myself.
    [continued in next Comment]

  10. [this is the continuation of the previous post]

    Now, to address your angry observations.
    I have chosen not to try to "Friend" my children on Facebook because I know they wouldn't want me to. They've so indicated to Susie and me. Also, I'm their father, not their friend. There's a big difference between the two roles and I'd be happy to talk with you about how I see that and how you do, if you're a father.
    You say my posts are manic and pathetic. Mania is a psychiatric term of art and does not apply to my behaivor or mood. My former psychiatrist got to know me very well and agrees with me on this point. But you're certainly entitled to your own opinion on anything.
    As for your thinking about the dancing I do, the comedy, all the fun things I'm doing in my retirement, I think a fair interpretation of your view about those activities is, you simply do not approve of them. Now you may not choose to do the same kinds of things in your life, but why should I care how you live your life? I don't even know who you are or what you do with your time.
    As for your advice about what I should be doing in my marriage, or as a father, why should I be interested in your thoughts about this? I don't know who you are, if you're married what kind of husband or father you are, or anything else about you. Therefore it's hard to decide what to make of your "advice" for me and how I choose to live my life.
    As for your claim that I'm hurting myself and my family by my "Bobs blog" postings, exactly what is the harm you imagine I or they are suffering? As for people laughing at me, I love finding the comedy in life and sharing what I find with other people. That's what being a comic involves. Why should the laughter bother me, whether it's directed at my person or my comic productions? As a comic, I prefer to hear laughter from audiences rather than tears and sadness. What's your point?
    When you say that my 35 year legal career and all the incredibly hard and stressful work I had to do to make 1,820 payrolls over those 35 years is "bullshit," I have no idea what you mean. Have you ever had to generate money from your own efforts, by asking other people to pay you their hard-earned money, to pay yourself or pay people who, as your employees, depend for their livelihoods on your generating those funds? I suspect you haven't or you wouldn't call my disciplined work activity over three-and-a-half decades in doing so, "bullshit." It would be fair, however, for me to choose to call your thought process by the same derogatory term, but I choose not to do so. I'll leave that judgment about your mental process up to you, and my other readers.
    What makes you think that I'm not "helping my wife and kids out?"
    Why should I stop doing what I'm doing, and why do you call it a "freakshow"? I firmly believe that being honest about my past struggles and my present life will help to remove some of the stigma which is tossed cruelly at people in our society who choose to be different and unconventional. Therefore, I will NOT stop what you call my "freakshow." Sorry if that disappoints you and, if so, you'll have to learn somehow to deal with it.
    If reading "Bobs blog" is gawking, why do you choose to gawk? There must be something in my life which fascinates you. Have you thought about what that might be?
    [This post is continued on next post.]

  11. [This is the final section of the above two posts.]

    I am quite serious about being interested in meeting you. You write in vague catch phrases, with little concrete content. Is there a reason you choose to remain so mysterious and unknown to me and my other readers? If I met you, I suspect I'd learn plenty about you which would give me a better opportunity to analyze your mind and understand what motivates you to be so disparaging of me and angry within yourself. I truly hope you can get some psycho-analytic or psycho-therapeutic professional help with these struggles of yours. They are important aspects of your soul which deserve to be listened to carefully, understood, and incorporated more consciously into your life than your mere act of projecting them onto me, as a kind of blank psycho-analytic screen, enables you to do.
    I'm easy to contact. If you have any problem, just post another Comment that you're finding it hard to find my email address or my cell phone number, and I'll make it even easier for you. Better yet, find a good analyst or psycho-therapist and do the hard work of understanding yourself with the help of a pro. I can recommend several to you if you'd like.
    Again, I'm delighted you're interested, for whatever reason, in reading "Bobs blog" and that you've taken the time to post a Comment. I do hope you find other outlets for your anger and ways to manage your angry feelings which serve your best interest and don't harm you physiologically.
    Happy Thanksgiving, Anonymous, and

    All best wishes,

    Bob Dutcher

  12. Dear Anonymous (who posted on November 22, 2011 at 6:26 p.m.),
    I thank you for your supportive Comment. It is gratifying to get support in the face of a lot of negativity. While I have compassion for the nay-sayers, because I suspect they are trying in some cases to defend themselves against awareness of feelings of dissatisfaction with their own lives by criticizing me, I am sad that my life is the occasion for their decision to feel pain and anger within themselves. Unfortunately, that is something the nay-sayers will have to come to grips with on their own because I am not responsible for the way they choose to feel about my life. Therefore, I will not let their nay-saying derail me from living the kind of life I feel called to live.
    I’m sure I’d recognize you, Anonymous, if I saw you, since you’ve met me a few times and I rarely forget the face of anyone I’ve met and interacted with. I hope our paths cross again, sooner rather than later. Because you ended your Comment with a term I love to use on Facebook, I suspect I may have met you in one of the dance clubs.
    Wherever and whenever we’ve met, I wish you all the best in life, now and in the future. BOOM!

    All best wishes,

    Bob Dutcher

  13. Bob I think your great. If you come out with a book I'll buy it and read it. At first when I use to see you at the bars I use to think you were a crazy strange old man. Lol but I took the time to actually talk to you. Everytime I see you. And that changed my mind.your a good guy. I never did judge a book by its cover. Your a very interesting book Bob. Your enjoying life. I respect it. Keep doing what you doing Bob. Bring your wife out one night. Let her see your world.

  14. Dear Jay J. M.,
    Thanks for reading the blog and especially for making a Comment. I really appreciate your willingness to patiently look beyond your first impression of me. Not everyone is able to do that.
    I did prevail on Susie to come with me one Saturday night to the Mezzo disco. She had an okay time, and had no lack of guys interested in dancing with her, but it's just not her kind of scene. But I was glad she got a glimpse of the "other world" I inhabit.
    I also like to hang out with people my own age because we share length of experience with each other. But I also love the vibrant energy of youth and as long as I'm physically up to it, and accepted by most of you, I'll keep going out dancing and partying at the dance clubs. I'm havin' a blast, thanks in large part to the fact that open-minded people like you see that I'm just out there to have fun.
    As for a book about this transition I've made from straight-laced lawyer to Crazy Dancin' Dude and all my other new activities, I'm glad you think it would be worthy of your time to read. "Bobs blog" has helped discipline me to writing regularly. Perhaps a book will emerge, in the end, from all of this.
    All best wishes,