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Wednesday, April 4, 2012

An Anonymous Imbecile Fantasizes a Class Action Against Me by My Former Clients for whom he Imagines I Lost their Cases--and a Wonderful Memory this Evoked in me from When I was a Very Young Lawyer

Below is an Anonymous Comment some imbecile, one of my haters, left this morning.  He fantasizes someone bringing a class action against me on behalf of any of my clients whose cases he imagines I lost.  If he weren't such a poor writer or had something interesting to say on the subject, I'd actually find what he wrote funny, in an ironic way.  But the guy is so far out in left field that it would be unkind of me to laugh at such a cretin's stupid Comment.

However, my reply Comment called to mind a wonderful memory I have of a seasoned war-horse of a trial lawyer, Bill Davis, whom I heard give a talk about what he learned from the cases he lost over his career.  I heard this talk at a trial lawyers' seminar on trial practice back in the late 1970's.  I wasn't even 30 years old and had only been practicing a few years.  I was SO impressed by what I heard from Mr. Davis that I used the wisdom I learned from him in guiding countless young lawyers over the years at my own firm.

Here is the Anonymous Imbecile's Comment, followed by my reply, containing the recollection about Mr. Davis.


  1. I'm collecting names of formal clients of Mr. Robert P. Dutcher to file a class action suit. Anyone for whom he represented is entitled to have thier case reviewed to determine if Mr. Dutcher was negligent is handling your case due to mental incapacity. Of course if you were the few who actual had their case won, you should count your blessings. The losers please make a stand as you were misrepresented.
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  2. Dear Anonymous Imbecile (April 4, 2012 at 6:36 a.m.),

    That's actually pretty funny. If you weren't a mental defective, seriously retarded, I'd laugh.

    Go ahead, former clients. Sue away. But consider the following.

    Such claims would never qualify for class action status. There is no commonality in the causes of action of each allegedly "misrepresented" client.

    The statute of limitations has run on 99% of the alleged claims.

    You know, Anonymous Imbecile, if you could write a grammatical English sentence it would make it easier for my readers to understand your semi-formed thoughts, if such can be said about the poorly-communicated fantasies of an Anonymous idiot like you. Please get some remedial writing lessons. It would appear you think at a kindergarten level and write at a second grade level. Please keep me posted on your attempts to become reasonably literate. I care.

    When I was a young lawyer, the most impressive lecture I ever heard at a CT Trial Lawyers Association seminar was the legendary trial lawyer Bill Davis explaining "What I Learned from Losing." All the lawyer blow-hards who preceded Bill, as usual, bragged about all their big victories in court. Bill had the BALLS to talk about all the losses he had sustained over the years and what he learned from each loss.

    Whenever a young associate of mine would return from court having won his or her first jury trial, I'd take the winner out to lunch. First I congratulated the victor on the win. Then I said the following. "I know how good it feels to win. But I need to inform you that you didn't learn ANYTHING useful from winning. You only inflated your ego, which may hurt you in the next case, if you overestimate your case or your abilities. However, when you learn to absorb your first loss, and your second and third, especially the humiliating losses, then you'll learn some very important lessons."

    In saying these things to my young associates, I was just passing on the wisdom I learned many decades ago from Bill Davis.

    All best,

    A Most Intelligent and Savvy Trial Lawyer, retired
    ReplyDelete

27 comments:

  1. I am also going to be looking into filing a class action suit for all the women for whom Robert P. Dutcher has physically and/or psychologically assaulted. So please come forward if you have experienced at the hands of the soon-to-be defedent any of the following:

    -brushed up upon in anyway in physcial contact; as innocent as it may have seemed at the time Mr. Dutcher was likely just trying to cop a feel. I'm sure once you have had time to reflect on it you will realize the sleeziness to it all.
    -publically defamed by being called "goddess" or in any other demeaning or chauvinistic manner. Mr. Dutcher may think he was being cute or charming, but reality is you probably cried all night, couldn't concentrate at work, or had it affect your everday life.
    -had your picture with said soon-to-be defendent publically plastered on the internet including Facebook without your consent. This is Mr. Dutcher's attempt to demean you to look like one of his fantasy sex servents. If you've lost your job or failed in a relationship because these pictures were made public please let us know.

    Please help justice come to these women. It wasn't just you, and you didn't ask for it. You are not at fault. Mr. Robert "Sundusky" Dutcher should pay for the harm he has conlicted on these poor defenseless women.

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  2. Dear Anonymous Imbecile (April 4, 2012 at 9:35 a.m.),

    And here I thought you were a boy. You MUST be a girl because only a member of the class could bring such a class action. And you're defining the class as a group of women. Actually, since you're only a girl, not a WOMAN, and certainly not a Goddess, but just a god-forsaken-imbecile, you don't even qualify for class action lead plaintiff status.

    Oh well, I actually found the following verb, which I've never heard of before, the funniest part of your Comment: CONLICTED. As in, Mr. Dutcher should pay for all the alleged harm he has "conlicted" on these poor defenseless women. That sounds suspicioulsly like some kind of sex act you're fantasizing about me and the Goddesses. Are you trying to say that you fantasy I "licked" the women "with (con)" my tongue? I don't think so, especially since I touch none of them, of unless they're slipping and falling and need to be caught to avoid them getting hurt. I am an Old-Fashioned Gentle Mere Mortal Man.

    Anonymous Imbecile, I now realize how envious you are of my freedom, my magical life, my dancing with so many hot young Goddesses. I know you wish you could be doing so, rather than sitting at your computer and masturbating yourself as you watch the wonderful experiences I'm having with all these Goddesses you desperately wish would pay so much attention to you. Well, son, or daughter, whichever sex you are, or Middlesex, ONLY IN YOUR DREAMS. But thanks for being so obsessed by me that you can't stay away from "Bobs blog."

    Please write in again. I love the new verbs your inadvertently creating. Even imbeciles like you can experience a kind of accidental and inadvertent genius.

    All best,

    The Man with the Magical Life you Wish You Too Could Be Leading

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  3. Dear Mr. Boob- if you think people envy you for your pathetic life of mental deterioration I believe you are sadly mistaken. Why would anyone in their right mind want to be like you? Sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag in an empty house alone, getting thrown out every other establishment you walk into, having a family who doesn't want anything to do with you particularily on the holidays, being looked at in public like a freak (which you are), and being arrested or threaten to be every other place you go. If this is your idea of living a magical life you are even sicker than most of us thought.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Anonymous Boob-Lover (April 4, 2012 at 11:22 a.m.),

      All I know is this: YOU envy me. The dancing, the living the artist's life, getting into confrontations with authority figures and drunks as writer's througout history have done, being unconventional and free, and living life on the edge. If only you could bring yourself to pull the rip-cord on your boring life, you'd do so. But you just don't know how to even start. Well, son, just keep following my Facebook pictures and Comments and "Bobs blog," and you'll have your blueprint for eventual escape from your self-imposed emotional prison.

      Good luck and if you ever want to talk directly to me, just call my cell, 860-759-9860, and I'd be happy to meet with you. Gratis. Out of the goodness of my heart and magnanimous spirit.

      All best,

      The Free-Man you Yearn to Become but Just Don't Know How

      Delete
  4. Mr Dutcher you are a class A citizen and also a gentlemen. I have seen you at clubs and I know you dont even try to dance with young ladys, they usually just want a picture with you and that is it. Bob dont get down in the dumps over this lowlife talking on your blogs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Robb (April 4, 2012 at 12:08 p.m.),

      Thanks a lot for that vote of confidence. I assure you, however, that the haters will never get me down. I've come too far to let that happen.

      But I truly do appreciate your saying the truth about what you've observed about my behavior in the clubs. The thing I find interesting about the clubs is this. Some of the Young Mere Mortal Men go around going into the rear ends of the Goddesses, without asking their permission, yet I've never seen a bouncer ask one of those young men to leave a club. I suspect my flamboyant dancing throughout whatever club I'm in, combined with my age, leads the bouncers to sometimes ask me to leave. I was even told not to return to one club after I was recently the victim of an assault by a drunken patron I hadn't had ANY interaction with before he ran up to me and grabbed me around my throat. I yelled at him and told him to get the f---k off me. The bouncer pulled him away and the drunk put a broken bottle into the bouncer's forehead. The criminal assault case is now pending against the drunk. Interesting that I was asked not to return to the club by the manager. There are plenty of other, better places to dance, so I don't plan to make a complaint to the LCC or CHRO about what I consider to be my illegal exclusion in the future from that club.

      All best,

      Bob

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  5. Agreed....due to his lack of response he's probably dangling above a kicked out stool.

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    Replies
    1. Dear Cassandra Anonymous (April 4, 2012 at 4:25 p.m.),

      If you're referring to Anonymous Boob-Lover (April 4, 2012 at 11:22 a.m.), I must, unfortunately, agree with your sad and tragic vision of Anonymous Boob-Lover's probable fate. I only hope, against hope, that you are wrong this one time, as I've come to be quite fond of the envious cretins who hate me. That said, I have never known you to be incorrect in your predictions, but perhaps, I pray, this will be the first time.

      All best, and sharing your grief,

      Bob

      Delete
  6. Hello Bob
    I'm still reading your blog, and notice that responses to you are becoming more hostile. Anyone who reads your stuff surely notices that the rolling waves of your personal writing as 'Free Bob' to your erudite crescendos as 'Intellectual Bob' are interesting to read. These waves are also provoking negative, sometimes threatening attention. Clearly you are happy for the writing exercise. You may be inviting and enjoying the intellectual stimulation but please know that you could also spike an unexpected reaction that makes this new free life 'no fun' in a big way.
    Sometimes we can't swim in both the 'deep' and shallow end of the pool. Be Well..

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  7. Dear Intelligent, but Cautious, Anonymous (April 7, 2012 at 12:27 p.m.),

    I do appreciate the care and thoughtfulness of your Comment, your warning really.

    But consider this. My wife used to warn me not to ride my bicycle when a thunderstorm was heading towards Middletown. I never got struck by lightning. She broke her neck riding her bicycle last July, on a bright and beautiful afternoon.

    People worried I'd be bitten by a shark or drowned when I surf-kayaked 12/12 waves (12-feet high, 12-second period) at Point Judith, RI. I'm still here but plenty of people drown in their bathtubs.

    I've been warned to live a more cautious existence, but my friends Tom Cloutier and John Cashmon, both lawyers, died of cancer (Tom) and suicide (John) within the past year. I am still kicking.

    You are wrong that I am "provoking" or "spiking" anything. I am living my life. Writing my prose. Performing my poetry. Doing my stand-up comedy. Dancing with Goddesses and their Mere Mortal Male boyfriends. I am creating art, albeit minor art. It is for others to interpret my art, decide, consciously or often unconsciously, how to react to it, respond to it, be provoked by it. That is only of my concern in this respect: I want people to experience my art. I care not, mostly, how they choose to respond.

    If I am attacked, emotionally or physically, and I have been the victim of both, I will respond at a time and place, and in a manner, of my choosing. I will not be cowed by threats. I am an artist now, not a money-making machine lawyer.

    I have lived 62 years. My children are grown. I plan to live as long as the good Lord, Mother Nature, or the gods permit. I will not hasten my death by suicide, as once I considered doing, during the Fall of 2010.

    Thank you for your warning and your concern, both of which I believe to be sincere.

    I plan to continue swimming in both the deep and shallow end of the pool. Generally speaking, I get professional courtesy from sharks.

    All best,

    The Artist (minor)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Got it, Bob! As our friend, Neely, has said to me.....I serve at God's pleasure. I understand what you are saying. Be well.

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  9. Dear Well-Wishing Anonymous (April 7, 2012 at 3:07 p.m.),

    Happy Easter!

    If you're a friend of Neely Bruce, you're a friend of mine. Neely's a professional artist, extremely talented, fully-formed. I'm only at the beginning of my artistic career, having started at age 61. Neely's been at it a few years (lol) more and I can never hope to accompish anything like his creations. But hey, without high goals to shoot for, why get up in the morning, capiche?

    That's a beautiful way Neely puts the life of the artist: "I serve at God's pleasure." And he should know, having lost the artist love-of-his-life, Phyllis, at God's pleasure. Certainly not at ours or Neely's.

    Right, what I say is intelligble but you may or may not agree. But that's why we're all different beings. Related. Having lots in common. But each a unique Child of God, His creation, on which we impose our own Free Will.

    But the important message in my obscurantist tea leaves is this: thank you so much for your supportive, wonderful words. And I will try to be well. And peace be with you, also, sister or brother.

    All best,

    Bob, an Insignificant Servant of God's Pleasure

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  10. Hey Bob rethink that 2010 idea. It's the best one you've had, ever. Call it a life Grandpa. See you at the club you joke!

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    Replies
    1. Dear Jealous and Hating Anonymous (April 10, 2012 at 7:12 p.m.),

      You're SO jealous and envious of all the dancing I do and how much attention I get from the women at the dance clubs. It's eating away at you, consuming you, burning inside you. You wish you had the balls I do to live the life I live. I'm so sorry you can't bring yourself to be free, as I am. I know it really pains you.

      Thing is, you're just gonna have to suck it up. Accept the fact your life is miserable. You'd love to make changes but just don't how to bring yourself to do so. Hey, give me a call. My cell number is 860-759-9860. We can meet at a local coffee shop or McDonalds. I'll help you figure out what you can reasonably expect to change about your life to find greater happiness and fulfillment. There's hope, even for one as miserable as you.

      All best,

      The Daddy-Therapist Figure You Desperately Want to Mentor You

      Delete
  11. Why is someone jelouse of an old man who dances? I don't get this post.

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  12. Dear Jealous and Envious Anonymous (April 11, 2012 at 7:43 a.m.),

    Here's why YOU are jealous of me. You may be chronologically younger, but you have a very old and decrepit attitude and emotional life. You envy me and are jealous of me because I dance four nights a week with extremely attractive women, mostly younger women. You wish you had the self-confidence and dancing ability to do this but you don't. Therefore, you envy me, you are jealous of me. You don't get it because you are STUPID and unaware of your own inner life. The only way you'll overcome your envy and your jealousy is by getting a life, both real and emotional. Good luck.

    All best,

    The Man You Wish You Were

    ReplyDelete
  13. Does this guy equate dancing with a gratifying life? No wonder he goes to an all black church. Those are the only other idiots who place dance skill above anything remotely productive. Does he really think standup comedy is done on the street corner? Oh man this guy is far gone.

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    Replies
    1. Dear Racist and Envious Anonymous (April 11, 2012 at 9:38 a.m.),

      You're as lacking in creativity and imagination as a schizophrenic person. In fact, more so. At least a schizophrenic creates novel, albeit uninteresting and useless verbal productions. Yous are neither novel, nor interesting, nor useful. Therefore, I can only conclude that your brain disorder is uncurable. Sorry to be the one to break the news to you. Good luck.

      All best,

      A Quite Creative Writer, Dancer, and Comedian

      Delete
  14. Hahaha! Let me know when your next comedy show is. I can't wait. I bet your best comedic performances are behind you. To see you in the court room must have been great for the opposition. Did you ever use your dancing skills there to lose a case or just rely on your natural lack of talent for that?

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  15. Dear Bob Dutcher Wannabe Anonymous (April 11, 2012 at 9:59 a.m.),

    As I've offered you many times before, let's meet face to face and I'll give you a preview of the kind of stand-up I do, which my audiences LOVE. I'm getting better all the time and eventually will be paid for my act.

    If you check my resume, right here on "Bobs blog," you'll see some of the many great successes I had in the courtroom.

    I know how gratifying it must be for you, a relatively unintelligent person to have a skilled and intelligent writer actually pay attention to you and respond to your infantile attempts to get under my skin. Keep trying. You can't.

    All best,

    A Man Invulnerable to Idiots like you

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  16. So your non paying audience loves your performance? But not enough to pay. Makes sense. I saw the resume. You said you were the owner? But never a partner? They didn't want a dancing clown to sully the name? That's strange. Every lawfirm must be dying for a street performing hobo who is I welcomed at even the seediest of clubs.

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  17. Leave the guy alone. I think he has issues. Seriously. Leave him alone he's not well

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    Replies
    1. Dear Protective Anonymous (April 12, 2012 at 6:39 p.m.),

      That's very sweet of you (if you're a she) or nice of you (if you're a he).

      I suppose it's fair to say we all have "issues," although usually that implies life-challenges above-and-beyond the ordinary. At this point in my life, my issues are simply those of a man who has made a major transition into a very unconventional life. This obviously causes a great deal of distress to those who observe me from the outside, particularly if they don't know me well, which is most people. My really close friends, a few people I've known for several decades, and my family, understand me in ways which strangers simply can't.

      Actually, I am very well. I was NOT well in the last year of my practice, when I began getting the urgent message, at first unconscious, that I needed radically to alter the course of my life.

      All best,

      Bob

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  18. Are you under doctor's supervision? Please, this blog is tuning out to be one long suicide note.

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    Replies
    1. Dear Ignorant about Me Anonymous (April 13, 2012 at 6:07 a.m.),

      I am NOT under a doctor's supervision and don't need to be. If you read my blog, you'd know I continue to see my psycho-therapist once a week, as I have since September of 2010. If Ray Oakes thought I were suicidal, he'd tell me or take other measures to help me. But I am NOT suicidal. I LOVE life and the way I've chosen to live it.

      You have a fantasy, a hypothesis, perhaps even a wish about me. But your theory is not correct. I am not suicidal and have no wish to kill myself.

      If you want to judge for yourself, call me and we can meet.

      All best,

      Bob

      Delete
  19. Who do you keep inviting to meet?

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    Replies
    1. Dear Anonymous (April 14, 2012 at 8:59 p.m.),

      Anybody who thinks he or she knows me but doesn't, or who has opinions about me which I think a face-to-face meeting would likely dispel.

      All best,

      Bob

      Delete